Seth
I felt like a dick.
I should.
I was a dick.
I’d had plans with Claire, and for the third night in a row, I’d bailed at the last minute. It wasn’t deliberate and if I’d had my way, I never would’ve cancelled, but I had to put soccer and my career first. I’d worked too hard for too long to half-arse it now even if it felt like I was making the biggest mistake in the world.
Thursday arrived and my training wasn’t getting any better, and I was beginning to second guess the reason I was even here. I sucked. I didn’t fit in with the team, and they didn’t really seem to want me here. If that was the case, what was the point?
This morning, Luca had pulled me aside and even now, hours after the fact, I still wasn’t sure if he had on his coach hat or his friend of a friend cap. He’d told me I was trying too hard. Going out all gun’s blazing, trying to outscore, outplay, out tackle my teammates wasn’t going to win me any medals. Or friends. Even though I knew he was right, it was hard to hear. I’d been trying so hard, probably too hard, to prove I was worth it. Prove I could be valuable. Prove that I wasn’t some smart arse know it all. Turns out, that’s all I’d done.
After going home and sulking for a couple of hours, Luca told me to come with him. I think he felt sorry for me, either that or he was sick of looking at me sitting on the couch staring miserably at the wall. Having no clue what we were doing or no better offers, I didn’t have to meet Claire for another couple of hours, I did as I was told, changed into a pair of shorts and runners and followed him out the door.
We walked uphill for what seemed like an eternity before turning and cutting through an alleyway. When we popped back out in civilisation, I was surprised to see we were standing in the middle of a clearing at the back of the high school I drove past each day on my way to the club.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, looking around.
It was just the two of us and a huge green soccer field which wasn’t as well kept as the one we trained on each morning. Where this one was patchy with puddles of mud, ours was pristine with thick white lines marking the ground. This one didn’t even have lines, well, not that I could see anyway.
“Playing,” Luca answered simply.
“Playing what?”
“Football.”
“Huh?”
“Seth, you’re a good kid. And you know how to play the game. Your problem isn’t your foot skills or your fitness or even your fancy new boots. It’s mental. You’re trying to prove to everyone you’re the big shot you want to be. You’re forgetting football is supposed to be fun.”
“Fun?”
“Yeah, fun. Remember that word? Kids have it all the time. It’s what you used to feel when you played with your friends in the playground at lunchtime. Or when you played at the under tens carnival and played all day. You used to play for fun. Not money.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
His words made sense, they really did, but I had no idea how I could go back. How did I forget that this game, the one that was supposed to be fun, was my future? I’d given up everything else for it, and if I fucked it up, I’d be left with nothing. I got what he was saying, I just wasn’t sure it was possible.
“So, you and I are going to play. For fun,” he emphasised, dropping the ball on his foot and showing off with some tricks.
While he mucked around, I stood back and watched him. He was an incredible footballer, but I already knew that. I’d been watching him play for years. But this, this was different. He was playing a game of keepings off. We’d all played it over the years, but the smile on Luca’s face showed better than his words ever could. He was enjoying himself. Out here, on a crappy field with no fans and no cameras he was just dicking around because he could. I wanted in on it.
“We playing, or you trying to show off?” I challenged, taking a few steps backwards.
“Me, showing off? You wouldn’t be able to keep up if I did,” Luca tossed back as he walked over to the goal nets and pulled his phone, wallet, and keys from his pocket, dropping them by the post.
“Bring it on, old man,” I dared arrogantly.
“Oh, those are fighting words, Conti,” a voice from behind me chuckled.
“About time you got here. Where are the others?” Luca asked as I turned around and found Connor and Angus striding across the grass towards us.
“Saw Hamish parking and Kurt’s behind you,” Connor answered, tugging off his hoodie.
“Wh-what’s going on?” I asked dumbly.
