As we passed the bar, I let Jenna know where I was going. “I’m just running Nate home.”
“Okay.”
I knew she’d have questions when I got back. Hell, I had a million questions right now, but first things first. I had to get Nate home in one piece. I just wasn’t sure I’d make it back the same way.
Without another word, I led Nate through the bar and outside. I wasn’t sure where the wind had come from, but it was blowing a gale. A wayward plastic caught around my leg and I struggled to kick it away. As quickly as I could, I shuffled Nate to the front seat and buckled him in. Honestly it was like dealing with an overgrown toddler, only heavier. Slamming the door, I ran around, diving into the driver’s seat and turning the key.
We’d barely made it out of the car park when, Nate’s gravelly voice caught my attention. “I’m sorry.”
He stared out the window silently the whole ride. With his forehead pressed against the glass panel of the window and over the sad country song playing on the radio, I could hear sobs. I was dying to talk to him. To ask if he was all right. Ask what the hell was wrong, it just didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it. He’d talk when he was ready. At least I hoped he would. For now, I’d just concentrate on getting us both home in one piece while dodging the kangaroos, which seemed to have appeared from nowhere and were bouncing around in front of the car.
Nate hiccupped on his cry and it destroyed me. I’d been broken before, more times than I cared to admit, but seeing a fully grown man trying to make himself look so small was soul-destroying. It was a sight I knew I’d never be able to forget, no matter how desperately I tried.
Needing to say something, I reached out, resting my palm on his thigh. When he shuddered at the contact, I went to pull back, not trying to make him feel any more uncomfortable than he already was. Instead, Nate’s fingers wrapped themselves around mine and held me firm. “No need to apologise,” I squeaked out, embarrassed by my trembling voice.
Turning the corner, I could see Nate’s house up ahead, looking anything but inviting. Sure it was a beautiful house and he’d done an amazing job restoring it, or what I’d seen of it so far, but tonight it loomed up ahead, large and lonely. Probably the last place in the world Nate needed to be right now. I felt my stomach twist with anxiety as we pulled closer, and I don’t think I was the only one. Nate’s already tight grasp squeezed harder, and I wasn’t game enough to look down at my fingertips. I didn’t know how I was supposed to pull into the driveway, watch him stumble his way to the door, fumble his key in the lock, then turn my back and drive away. I might be a bitch ninety-nine percent of the time, and I was still mighty pissed about everything Nate had done over the past couple of weeks, and my insane attraction to him, yet I knew I wasn’t that callous. Even if I wanted to walk away and leave him alone, I couldn’t. Not tonight. Not like this.
Once I parked in the drive, I killed the engine and slipped off my seatbelt.
“Are you right to get yourself inside?” I asked, not knowing what else to do. The car was stopped, the lights were off, yet Nate had made no attempt to move. Truth be told, he was starting to fucking scare me. This was the sort of shit Mia was great at dealing with. And Derek. This was basically his job. Me, on the other hand, I had no clue what the hell I was doing.
I felt it in my stomach before it registered against my hand. Nate was rubbing his thumb back and forth across my knuckles. I hated that his simple touch turned me to mush. I hated that it made me want to grab him by the collar and yank him into the backseat and kiss that god damn frown from his lips.
“Please, Nate,” I begged breathlessly. “Say something. Anything”
When he looked up at me with those huge, desperate, desolate eyes, I wish I hadn’t asked. They were still leaking tears, which continued to run down his cheeks before getting lost in the stubble I was itching to run my fingers through.
“I…I…can’t,” he gasped as the pain consumed him once again. He sounded like he was choking on his words. His face scrunched up and his hand clasped mine so tightly I couldn’t hold back the whimper. “I’m sorry, Josie. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“Stop, Nate! Just stop! You didn’t hurt me, I’m fine. But you’re not. So we’re going to sit here until you tell me what’s going on, because I can’t let you go in that house the way you are.”
I hadn’t meant to get snappy, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’d tried being nice. I’d tried being supportive. Hell, I’d even tried being quiet and letting him open up when he was ready, yet none of it worked. Nothing made him cave. So now I had my bitchy pants on.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he confessed sadly.
“The truth, Nate. Just tell me the truth.”
“I don’t know…”
“You’ve got to tell someone.”
Nate nodded, and stupidly I thought that this was the moment he was going to open up and spill his secrets. How frigging naïve was I? Instead he held my hand, dropped his head back against the headrest, and let his eyes close. For what felt like forever I stared out the windscreen at the inky night sky above my head. There wasn’t a cloud as far as the eye could see, and the stars lit up the world. I couldn’t help it when a snicker bubbled up.
“What are you laughing at?”
Embarrassed by not only my immaturity, but also the fact I’d been caught, I quickly answered. “Nothing.”
“Please, Josie, tell me.”
“You really want to know?” I was surprised as hell. I was sitting here waiting for Nate to gather the strength he needed to talk to me, and I was giggling like an idiot. Damn, I needed to find some friends my own age and soon. Hanging out with Matilda all the time had me acting her age instead of my own.
“Yeah.”
“Well…” I shifted in my seat so I was looking directly at him. My movement must have caught him off guard, because the stunned look on his face was priceless. Part of me wished I could reach my phone to snap a photo, but I knew if I did, the moment would be lost. “I was sitting here, staring up at the sky and all the stars, and all I could think about wasThe Lion King.”
“The Lion King?”
“So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you. And so will I.”
