Chapter 18
Nate
Shit! She was a mother. Matilda was hers. Sure, she was an adorable kid, and if those wide brown eyes didn’t steal your heart, then you sure as shit didn’t have one. I’d only seen her less than a handful of times, and I would have bet money that she was Derek’s daughter, but even from the few minutes spent with her, I knew she was going to grow up to be a heartbreaker.
Exactly like her mother.
As the thought rattled around in my pounding head, I swallowed down the disappointment flooding my body. As much as I liked Josie, as much as I wanted to spend more time with her, I knew it was over. Before it really even began, it was done. I was done. I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t go there. Not with someone who had a kid. I admired her for it. And I could tell she was an amazing mother, I just couldn’t go there. I wouldn’t allow myself to. Life sucked sometimes.
Burrowing down under the covers, I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed for sleep. I needed this headache gone. I’d deal with everything else tomorrow. That was future Nate’s problems. Right now I just needed to get better and get my lazy ass out of this bed.
***
Three days. Three long, painful days. That’s how long it took for me to drag my ass out of bed and re-join the human race. I think it was the stench of my sheets that was the final kick up the ass I needed to get moving. After standing under the scalding hot water until it ran cool. After shaving and cleaning my teeth for the tenth time, I was ready to get outside and into the sunlight. Thankfully it was Saturday and I didn’t have to work. Even though I was out of bed and somewhat mobile, I didn’t have the energy to deal with a class full of ratbags.
Pouring myself a huge mug of strong, black coffee, I stepped out onto the back veranda and into the morning sun. Damn, it felt good. As the cold air hit my lungs, I coughed it back out. Closing my eyes, I tilted my face up towards the sun and let the warmth seep into my skin.
“Should I just give you some privacy?”
“What the…” I shot to my feet at the intrusion, spilling what was left of my coffee all over my shirt.
“Shit! Sorry, mate!” Derek chuckled, slapping me on my back.
Yanking the coffee-soaked shirt over my head and throwing it in the direction of the laundry, I dropped back on my chair.
“What are you doing here?”
“Making sure you’re still alive.”
“Hey!”
“Man flu is deadly. I had to check in.”
“Thanks.”
“How’d it go with Josie the other day? She said you looked like shit.”
I gulped down the lump in my throat. I couldn’t tell Derek what I really felt. I knew it would come out eventually, what an asshole I was, but I wanted to avoid it as long as possible. It was nice having a friend around. It’d been so long since there’d been someone in my life I felt like I could trust. When everything had fallen apart, everyone in my life turned on me, including my own family. Nothing could ever be more painful than watching your own mother be so disappointed in you, she shut you out and told you not to come back. To be banned from your childhood home simply because you made a choice. A choice people didn’t like. One they didn’t understand.
“Yeah, felt like it.”
“You better now?”
“Heaps.”
“Thank god. You scared the shit out of me the other day when you collapsed.”
“Sorry about that.” Honestly, I didn’t know what else to say.
“You should be. I spent my day off with a busload of kids.”
“They weren’t that bad, were they?”
“The chaperone wasn’t.”
Derek winked at me and I couldn’t contain the booming laughter that bubbled up my throat.
“So, since you’re back to normal, I expect you to be at my place tonight for dinner.”
