Chapter 17
Josie
Derek might be my brother-in-law one day soon, but right now I hated him with a passion. He didn’t know it, or perhaps he did, I wouldn’t put it past him to play cupid, but he’d called and said Nate was sick. Okay, Nate was sick. He was a big boy. He’d survive. After all, I’d seen him less than twenty-four hours ago. I mean, I’d been up close and very personal and he seemed fine, so it couldn’t be that bad. But it meant Derek had gone with Mia for the day to the football carnival. Something he’d been way too excited about when he called. I couldn’t be sure if he was more excited at spending the day with Mia, the woman he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of, or the bus full of brats talking football. So that left me. Derek, in his wisdom, had determined that Nate was my problem and I had to play nurse. Did Derek not know me at all? I was no Florence Nightingale. I was more like Doctor Nick, the weird, dodgy doctor from the Simpsons. I mean, Derek wouldn’t even let me dig a splinter out of his hand with a pair of tweezers, let alone be responsible for his entire well-being. I mean, let’s face it, some days it was a miracle that Matilda was not only still alive, but she was thriving.
Matilda was currently sitting in the washing basket with her doll, chatting up a storm. Barely one word was actually recognisable, but she was having the time of her life and really, that’s all that mattered. She was happy, safe, and most importantly, quiet. Something she hadn’t been for days. Teething was a bitch. If I thought getting her out of my body hurt, a teething toddler was something else. Most of the time she was whinging to be picked up. I mean, if I hear the word ‘Up’ one more time come out of her adorable little mouth, surely I can’t be held responsible for my actions. However, the moment she’s in my arms, she squirms and squawks and wants to get down again. Imagine that on repeat. For. Four. Fucking. Days. It was enough to drive anyone batty. And let’s face it, most of the time I was almost half there. The only thing that was keeping me sane was Derek. For some reason, one I don’t understand but had no intention of questioning, he was the only one who could get near Matilda to wipe her nose that ran constantly, or make her smile when she started to sook. He was my freaking hero right now. The only issue was he knew it. And that’s exactly why he was making me do this.
Blowing on my steaming mug of coffee, I took a steady sip. I was trying to sort through the jumble of emotions buzzing about in my head. The kisses Nate left me with had haunted me. I was well aware that it had been less than twenty-four hours since he’d left me tongue-tied, and I was dying to see him again, but I didn’t want him to know that. Or Mia. Or heaven help me, Derek.
Checking the clock on my phone, I realised it was just after ten. I’d wait for the washing to finish and hang it out, then I’d head over to check on him. Nate was a guy living the bachelor life, so he probably wasn’t equipped to deal with illness. Clicking open my notes app, I quickly jotted down a grocery list I’d stop and pick up on my way.
After hanging out the washing, changing Matilda’s nappy—and shirt and pants, and finding her errant sock, I bundled her into the car and we headed off. Usually we’d walk, stopping to look at the ducks, but the menacing, grey clouds hovering overhead nixed that idea.
It took forever in the damn supermarket. Matilda insisted on walking, which meant I was shuffling along in half-steps. While I grabbed what I thought Nate needed, Matilda grabbed everything she could get her grubby little hands on. When she grabbed a packet of maxi pads from the bottom shelf and screamed ‘Mum’ at me, I’d had enough. Tucking her under one arm and my overflowing basket under the other, I headed for the checkout. This humiliation had to end.
“Hi there, sweetheart. Aren’t you gorgeous?” the grey-haired checkout lady cooed as she took the basket from me.
“Want her? She’s all yours.” That earned me a chuckle. I don’t think she realised I was serious. Right now, Matilda was free to a good home.
“I think you’d come back soon enough for her. Look at that face. How could anyone walk away from it?”
“Easily.”
“You just sound like a tired mum.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Only to someone who’s been there, sweetheart.” She petted my hand and I was surprised how good it felt. Since all that shit went down with my own parents, I’d been so lonely. I know I had Mia and Derek, and they’d been everything to me, but sometimes you just needed your mum. I only wished mine could get past my failings and be part of my life again. And not just my life. She had an amazing granddaughter who was growing and changing every day and she was missing it all. She’d never even met Matilda. Even if she didn’t agree with what I’d done or how I’d handled it, that was no reason to punish Matilda. After all, Matilda deserved a grandmother.
“Thank you,” I forced out, almost choking on the words.
While Matilda ran around my legs, we quickly bagged up my groceries before I swiped my card and headed out. Offering her one last smile, I caught a glance at her name tag. Brittney. It may have only been a passing conversation between two strangers, but to me it was one I’d never forget. It hadn’t been full of long, deep, profound words, but that wasn’t what I needed. What I needed was someone to believe in me. Someone who told me I was doing okay. Brittney had just made my day.
Feeling lighter, I held Matilda’s hand as we wobbled our way to the car. Although she was walking, she still wasn’t very stable on her feet, and when she got excited more times than not she face planted. She still hadn’t mastered the whole putting your hands out in front of her to brace her fall. She staggered along, looking more often than not like she was drunk. After loading up, we headed to Nate’s place and I felt my pulse sky rocket.
When we arrived I knocked, but go no answer. Instead of waiting politely, I pulled open the door and let myself in. There was more than a very good chance that he was in bed. From what Derek said on the phone, it’s where he needed to be. As soon as I stepped inside, I could hear the chainsaw snoring. No wonder he lived alone. Anyone else living here would be like a zombie. There’s no way anyone could sleep through that.
“Matilda, shhh. Nate’s sleeping.”
“Shhh,” she returned, putting her finger over her mouth.
For a moment I watched as Matilda dropped to her knees and crawled across the floor to Nate’s couch before pulling herself up. When she was settled and satisfied, she started playing with the cushion and I knew now was my chance to duck down the hall.
As quietly as possible, I crept down the hallway, trying not to make noise. I didn’t want to startle him if he was sleeping. Following the heavy snores, I found Nate’s room easily. There he was, stretched out across his huge bed, one leg poking out from under his navy and white comforter, his arm wrapped around a spare pillow. With the blinds wide open, the light was streaming through, making it look like Nate wore a halo. It was a good thing I knew better. There was nothing angelic about that guy. Trying not to wake him, I stepped over the abandoned clothes and moved towards the window before closing the blinds, plunging the room into darkness.
Clumsily, I stepped back, tripping over an unsuspecting shoe. I know I was a klutz. Everyone knows how clumsy I was. If tripping over air was a sport, then I was a gold medallist. If there was one place in the world where I wished I wasn’t, it was here, in Nate’s darkened bedroom. But no, that wasn’t me. Instead, my arms windmilled wildly as momentum took over and I fell backwards. Onto the bed. On top of Nate.
“What the—”
Nate was awake.
I was splayed out across him.
On his bed.
In the dark.
I felt my face burn with humiliation.
