“Look, Josie. I know we don’t know each other very well. And I’m willing to admit that what happened between us was unexpected. Awesome, but unexpected. But you need to know that was never my intention. Not even for a second.”
“So you don’t think I’m a slut?” I blurted it out. I hadn’t meant to. I meant to keep that question all to myself.
“Fuck no!”
The look on his face, which I’d dismissed as frustration, quickly morphed into anger. His brows furrowed, his jaw set, and when he clenched his hands into balls, his knuckles quickly turned white under the strain.
“Is that what you think of yourself?” His question was so direct it stung, despite his calm, cool tone.
“No.” My word lacked conviction. It came out more as a question than an answer.
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
“You are. That’s it, isn’t it? You think you did something wrong and that’s why you’re avoiding me. That’s why you ran.”
I folded my arms across my chest, trying to protect myself from his words. Bastard. He’d seen right through me. I wanted to tell him he was wrong. Make him believe he was way off target. The issue was, he wasn’t. He’d hit the fucking bullseye. How could I convince him, if I couldn’t even convince myself?
“Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me, Josie. Say something!”
His voice was deep and raspy. It sent a shiver racing down my spine. This man was going to be the death of me. I was giving myself whiplash trying to hold on to my out of control hormones. It was torture. Pure fucking torture.
“What! What do you want me to say, Nate?” I snapped loudly.
Before I could react, Nate pushed back from his chair and crouched down beside me. His eyes locked with mine, and when he rested his hand on my thigh, I could have sworn I was on the verge of exploding, only I wasn’t sure if it was from lust or fury. Maybe a combination of both. Sighing heavily, I looked at him, and for the first time I saw pain. I hadn’t expected to see that, and it threw me completely off balance.
“I don’t want you to say anything, Josie. I want you to tell me what’s going through that pretty little head of yours.”
“That’s a dangerous invitation.”
“Josie…”
I heard my name slip from his lips and the fight evaporated out of me. There was nothing I could do about it. In my mind, I imagined that it was the same voice he used trying to control of rambunctious ten-year-olds who’d had a lunch of red cordial and lollies. And just like a ten-year-old, I was brought to my knees.
“Look, Nate. You want the truth, then here it is. I acted like a tramp. I mean, what sort of woman drops to her knees in the kitchen, of all places, for some guy they barely know, on what may or may not have been a date? I certainly don’t. Well, I didn’t until, you know, I did. So not the point. Anyway, I don’t want to be that girl.”
The sly smirk that danced on his lips made me want to slap it off. Or kiss it off. Man, this guy had me completely off balance. “You’re not that girl.”
“I am. I was. I don’t want to be, but that’s exactly what I was. I acted like a slut.”
“Listen to me very fucking closely, Josie.” His eyes narrowed, his face went hard, and his voice dropped. “I never, ever want to hear you speak that way about yourself ever again. And if I do, god help me, I’ll spank your ass so hard you won’t be sitting down for a week.” I heard all the breath leave my body. That was not what I was expecting him to say. Not in a million years could I have guessed those words would come out of his mouth. “Right, I see that’s sunken in. Now let’s move on to the rest. Okay, yes. We don’t know each other all that well, but that’s what we are, or at least we were doing until you went MIA. Let me just reassure you right now, Josie, you won’t be running again.”
“Nate—”
“No. I’m not done. See, Josie, this is how a conversation goes. You’ve had your turn to say something, now it’s my turn. When I’m finished you get a another turn. Right?”
Stunned.
Absolutely fucking stunned.
How was I supposed to react to this? This wasn’t the man I’d met at the bar weeks ago. It wasn’t the man I’d checked out on and flirted with water-skiing on the river. This wasn’t the man who’d put me on the back of his motorcycle and took me on the ride of my life. He wasn’t the guy who made my mind go to mush and me drop to my knees. This guy, the one crouched beside me, holding onto my leg, was something else. Something better.
Focusing all my concentration on the man beside me, I gulped. It hurt. Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded pathetically.
“Good. Glad we understand each other.”
Nate started to his feet but didn’t move away. Instead, he reached his hand behind my head, wrapped my ponytail around his hand, and tipped my head backwards. The pull of my hair stung, but before I had a chance to protest, he slammed his hungry mouth over mine, devouring me like he’d just done his steak.
