Chapter 33
Derek
My tux was hanging on the back of the door, taunting me. I had to leave soon, but my feet felt like lead. There was nowhere I wanted to be any less than standing here in this dinky, stale smelling motel room. Walking in the bathroom, I held my breath as I pulled back the mould-speckled shower curtain and stepped under the barely warm water.
I rolled my shoulders, wishing the tension would ease. I don’t know if it was spending more nights than I would have liked on the horrid mattress, complete with a spring or two poking through, or the anxiety, which was crushing me. This whole trip, coming home had been harder than I could have ever envisioned, yet in so many ways it had been successful. Well, as much as it could have been. Everything was in place for me to return to the job I was born to do. A job I wanted to do more than anything. A job I was looking forward to getting back into. The only bit that sucked about this was I had to tell Mia. And Zoe.
“Shit!” I smashed my hand against the tiles before letting my head drop. I had to tell Zoe. She wouldn’t be coming back with me. She couldn’t. I couldn’t ask her, and I’d be fucked if I let her. It would be a mission in my life to ensure she never had to set foot in this town. I’d go to her. Whenever or wherever she needed me. Telling her though, well, that was going to suck. I wished there was someone I could pay to do it for me.
The tension I’d been willing the water to wash away doubled under the weight of my heavy thoughts. Now was not the time to be worrying about this shit. First, I had to get through tonight. It was going to be hard enough. One problem at a time. Telling Zoe, breaking her heart, that was future Derek’s problem.
Stepping out, I quickly dried off and shaved. As I was pulling on my pants, my phone beeped. Pushing the door open, I stepped onto the threadbare carpet and grabbed my phone from the charger on the night stand.
Jenna: Running late. Don’t need a lift. You go. I’ll meet u there.
That was strange. I knew how nervous Jenna was about going tonight and I couldn’t blame her. If I was feeling awkward I couldn’t begin to imagine how hard this would be for her.
Derek: U sure???
Jenna: Absolutely!
Trying not to read anything into it, I finished dressing before looking in the full-length mirror. Last year I’d barely ironed my shirt and showed up late. This year, it looks like I wouldn’t only be arriving on time, but also dressed in my Sunday best. Fuck this, I needed a drink. Swiping my keys and wallet, I headed out. I was making a pit stop before I dared show my face tonight.
Ten minutes later I was perched on a barstool at the end of the scarred bar sipping a cold beer. It was perfect. Cold, refreshing and relaxing. Exactly what I needed to take the edge off. After ordering my second, I looked down and noticed the pile of paper in front of me. I couldn’t even remember shredding the coaster, but there was no disputing the evidence.
“Another?” the guy behind the bar offered. I shook my head. I couldn’t walk into this event drunk, though the idea appealed more than it should. I needed to pull myself together and face everyone. The thought alone was paralysing. Since driving back into town I’d laid low. I knew I could have stayed with people I knew, even Jenna had tried to get me to crash in her guest room, but I needed my space. This was hard enough. Dealing with people twenty-four seven, being in their home…that was too much. Too normal. Part of me needed to be alone. The space to take this in. The space to fall apart if I needed it. And boy, did I need to. More than once I’d completely lost my shit as I stared at the blank walls.
“Nah.” I downed the rest and set my glass down before pulling on my jacket and heading out.
It looked like a party store threw up in here. There were blue and white crepe paper streamers hanging from every nail and hook. Balloons were everywhere. The noisy chatter drowned out periodically when another one burst. The round tables were draped with white tablecloths with a bunch of cheap flowers in the middle, flowers that looked like they’d seen their best a week ago. Hundreds of shiny, silver bits of paper covered the tables. I pitied the poor sucker who had to clean this place tomorrow.
“Derek! Is it really you?”
The voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Every hair on my body stood on end. I’d know that voice anywhere. I hadn’t missed it. Sighing heavily, I spun around and came face to face with a clown. Well, she wasn’t really a clown, but the ton of makeup caked on her face would lead you to believe otherwise.
“Oh, hey Katrina.” There was no enthusiasm in my voice. I couldn’t even summon the energy to fake it.
“Oh, Derek, sweetie. Don’t be like that. Aren’t you happy to see me?”
I wanted to yellFuck no! The only thing stopping me was the simple fact that while I might have been an asshole, I wasn’t that big of a prick. “Of course,” I lied through my clenched jaw. I wanted another beer. I needed one. Or possibly something stronger. But Katrina had wedged herself between me and the bar. If she continued much longer, I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions. I might be forced to physically push her out of my way.
When her talon-like nails bit into my arm, I yanked back a little too hard, causing her to wobble on those ridiculously high heels. Her low cut, skin-tight red dress left her boobs spilling out the top. Usually it was a sight I’d appreciate, what red-blooded guy wouldn’t, but with Katrina it was a trap. One thankfully I’d never been ensnared by.
“How long are you in town for?”
Glancing around, I looked for an escape. A saviour. “Tonight,” I replied bluntly. Spotting a group by the bar, I waved, hoping they’d notice and help me out.
“So soon?” She pouted. Like a frigging child, she pouted. It wasn’t attractive at all. Instead, from the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of blonde hair, and immediately my thoughts were elsewhere.
“Yeah. Look, Katrina, there’s some people I have to go say hi to. So…” I hoped she’d take the hint.
Forlornly, she shrugged before folding her arms across her chest, thrusting her boobs even further in my direction. The urge to cover them up was overwhelming. It took a moment, but she stepped out of my way, allowing me to pass by. “Come find me later?” she cooed.
A shiver raced through me. “Maybe,” I offered noncommittally as I took off, not wanting to risk another second.
Reaching the bar, I needed a moment. And a drink. A strong one. After downing two gin shots and grabbing a beer, I felt better. Like relief settled over me. Maybe it was the alcohol flowing through my body or maybe it was the moment to just breathe, the truth was I didn’t care. Anything to make surviving this night easier.
“Going to buy me one of those?” a feminine voice came from behind me.
