We stood there for what seemed like forever in silence. I was too caught up in my own head. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a panic attack, or maybe I could. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I was remembering the moment the doctors had told me and I was right back there again. Reliving the agony. Reliving the horror. Unable to escape. Unable to outrun the pain.
A faint buzzing shocked me out of my own wayward thoughts.
“Mia, I think that’s your phone.”
Part of me wished she’d judge me. Wished she’d see me as damaged, useless, pathetic. Instead she said nothing. She backed up a few steps and gave me privacy to answer the unknown number.
“Mia speaking.”
“Hi Mia!” a deep, happy voice boomed down the line. “It’s Derek.”
I felt my cheeks burn and I wished Zoe wasn’t standing right there. I didn’t want her to know about my crush on her…well, her Derek. I still felt completely weird about their situation and until I got that straight in my head, I didn’t know what the hell I wanted. I definitely didn’t want to have some silly school girl crush…which unfortunately is exactly what I had developed.
“Oh, hi there.”
“I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?”
“No, not at all. I was actually just outside grabbing some fresh air before my next class.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was outside. I was getting air. I did have another class starting soon.
“Great. So, I was wondering if you were free for dinner on Monday night?”
I thought I heard nerves in his voice, but I wasn’t sure. I would have paid money to see that, actually. Big, tough Derek nervous.
“Monday?”
“Yeah. Normal date nights are pretty crappy for me ’cause of the club, so I’m hoping Monday works for you?”
I could feel my palms sweating. I glanced up at Zoe, who had a sneaky smirk on her face while she absently kicked around an invisible rock. I wanted to throw something at her and get her attention. I wanted to know if she knew this call was coming. Had Derek said something to her? What did she know? What did she think? Fuck, I never thought I’d be the other woman. It didn’t sit well with me. Not one little bit.
“Could we do Tuesday instead?” I countered, not entirely sure why.
Perhaps it was because I didn’t want to seem too keen, but I think mainly the reason was standing right in front of me gnawing on her bottom lip. I wanted a chance to talk to Zoe. I wanted a chance to get to know her and see where her head was at. To see if she’d help fill in some blanks for me.
“Tuesday works for me. How ’bout I pick you up at six-thirty?”
“Can we make it seven?”
“Are you trying to keep me on my toes, Mia?”
I giggled. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. It just bubbled up my throat and escaped involuntarily. “Not at all. I just have a class that afternoon, so I want to make sure I have enough time to change. Unless, of course, you want me to go out in public in my gym clothes, all sweaty and smelly and gross.”
I heard Derek groan, which only sent me into another fit of giggles. Then it struck me. I was flirting. With a man. A gorgeous, huge, extremely addictive man. A man I could very easily become wrapped up in, if I wasn’t already.
“I don’t think I’d mind too much. Fine. Seven on Tuesday. I’m picking you up from the gym. Don’t be late. Wear something nice.”
“Sounds great.”
“Right. I’m hanging up now, otherwise you’ll change your mind, Cinderella. See you next Tuesday.”
Before I had a chance to respond, he followed through with his threat and hung up, leaving me with my mouth agape and the dial tone in my ear.
“Now there’s a happy face,” Zoe pointed out as she moved back towards me.
“Did you know?”
She didn’t answer. Well, not with words. Instead she offered a casual shrug of her shoulder before yanking open the back door and scooting inside, leaving me to follow.
Shaking off the mixture of emotions, I grabbed my water bottle and towel, and made my way into the rooms. Out here I didn’t have to think. I just had to do it. This is what I loved. It was why I built this place. To be able to push your body to that point where it begged you to stop, then push a little further. That point where conventional thought no longer existed. That was where I belonged. And right now, a high intensity step class would get me there.
