I watched her walk away. It was sad. It was horrible. It was a reminder that I didn’t need.
I was a determined and stubborn bitch sometimes?maybe more than sometimes?and Zoe was on my radar. I wasn’t going to let anyone go through what I did. I was going to help that girl, no matter how hard or how long it took. She needed someone to look after her. Someone to fight for her. Someone to teach her to fight for herself. Someone to convince her she was worth fighting. Her hunched shoulders told me that much.
“Good session, Kenz,” I called out as she sorted the mitts into pairs, using the Velcro straps to secure them together.
“Thanks, Mia. What made you want to join in? Checking up on me?” She laughed but it wasn’t real laughter. It was unbalanced and nervous. Even though she tried to appear nonchalant, I recognized the truth in her question. She was worried.
“No, Kenz, not at all. You know I get fidgety when I have to do accounts. I thought punching someone was a healthy way of expressing my frustration rather than throwing the damn computer through the window.”
“Cheaper too.”
“Yep.”
“What do you make of Zoe?”
“Zoe?”
“Yeah. The girl in the back. The one I sparred with?”
“Not sure. I mean she tries everything I ask, so I can’t fault her there, but she seems kinda closed off.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing major, really. She just chooses to be left alone and not interact with the others. Why? You know what’s going on there?”
“Not yet.”
“But you will?”
“But I will.”
“Good luck, Mia. She looks like she could use a friend.”
“Yeah. That’s what I thought too.”
After I helped Kenz clean up the room and straighten the mats, we flicked off the lights and headed out. People were already flowing out of the change rooms. It took longer than normal with just Kenz and I going through the ingrained routine, but we got there. I craved a cold beer, and I never craved a beer. I thought about asking Kenz to join me but then I remembered I stunk and had other things to do, so I dismissed the idea as quickly as it’d come.
With all the lights off, we pushed through the last door. I was stunned to see Zoe pacing up and down the reception area, chewing ferociously on her nails, shaking visibly with pure terror on her face. “Zoe?” I called softly. I didn’t want to startle her. It didn’t work. She jumped like someone had just stuck a red-hot poker up her ass.
“Is everything all right?” Kenz asked, stepping into the centre of the room.
“Yeah, Derek’s not…”
Suddenly she was gasping for air. Her face was red, her eyes wide and terrified. Kenz and I exchanged worried glances. I had no fucking idea what was going on, but whatever it was, it was not good.
Taking a step towards her, I stretched out my fingers, making sure Zoe noticed my movements. “You’re fine, Zoe. You’re safe. I need you to breathe in and out. In and out. It’s just me an Kenz here with you. Kenz is going to lock the door now and no one else will be able to get in. Is that okay?”
I was praying Kenz was following along.
I recognized it instantly. Zoe was in the middle of a panic attack. She needed to feel safe and secure. And I needed her to breathe. Desperately, I needed her to breathe.
Sinking to her knees, Zoe puffed out the breath she’d been holding and sucked in another. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Mackenzie stepped towards the door and flicked the latch. No one was getting in now. I dropped to my knees in front of Zoe and reached for her hands. Surprisingly she let me grasp her cool, clammy palms in mine. This was all sorts of fucked up.
“Just breathe, Zoe. In and out. In and out.”
For a few moments, Zoe did exactly that. Her eyes were unfocused, but she was hanging in there. It seemed like it took forever before the trembling stopped and she pulled herself together enough to look me in the eye. It frightened the shit out of me. Whatever had happened to her had really fucked her up.
“When you’re ready, Zoe, can you tell me what happened?”
