Chapter 7
Derek
A loud bang woke me with a start and I found myself sitting bolt upright. “Zoe?” I called out as I vaulted from the bed, tossing the comforter across the room and yanking the door open so hard it almost came off its hinges.
“Yeah?” she asked, unsure.
Stepping into the kitchen, I saw what she was doing. Zoe was attempting to bake. Swallowing down my laughter, I felt the relief swamp me. I hadn’t realized how damn scared I was for her until the moment I thought something happened again. Turns out she’d dropped the cookie tray on the floor, sending it and the raw cookie dough clattering down.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”
“Shit, Derek, did I wake you?”
She looked nervous, scared even. It made my stomach turn. That was the absolute last thing in the world I ever wanted…Zoe to be afraid of me. “It’s fine, Princess. It was time for me to get up anyway.” I tried to reassure her, but the look on her face didn’t make me think she believed me at all. Not even for a second. “Whatcha doing?”
“Not sure really. I felt like cooking so I’m trying to make cookies.”
“What sort?”
“Chocolate chip. They were…” Her voice trailed away and her eyes dropped. She didn’t have to say it. We both knew. They were Spencer’s favourite. Anytime a batch was made he’d inhale half of them before anyone else even got a look in. A chef she wasn’t. The whole kitchen was covered in evidence of that. She’d used every spoon, every bowl, and every inch of bench space was covered by a fine film of flour. Not to mention the streak of smooshed dough across her cheekbone. She looked adorable. Sad, but adorable. I hated it. Jumping off the stool, in two strides I was around the bench and yanked her into my arms, crushing her against my chest.
“It’s okay to miss him, Zoe. I do too. We’ve just got to smile when we do and keep going. That’s what he’d want.”
“I know,” she huffed, pulling back.
“What’s wrong?”
Something was off. In all the months since Spencer’s death, Zoe had never once been the first to pull back out of my arms. God, some days I’d had to pry us apart just so I could go to work. Today she had. Today she’d pushed me away. Part of me was proud of her. Maybe she was getting better. But another part of me was nervous. What if she didn’t need me anymore? And now I sounded like a whining woman.
“Ummm…” She didn’t form words, but every inch of exposed skin turned pink as she blushed heavily.
I couldn’t hide my frustration. “What?” I snapped, harder than I’d intended.
Taking another step back, Zoe’s eyes went wide and it felt like a punch in the stomach. “Can…can you put some clothes on, Derek?” she whispered so meekly that I barely caught her words.
It took a moment for them to sink in, but the moment they did, I looked down and realized why she’d jumped back like she’d been bitten by a snake. My snake was trying to escape the confines of my boxer shorts. I’d been so worried when I’d woken up I hadn’t given even a second’s thought to what I was wearing. All I had on was a pair of black socks and Superman boxer shorts.
“Shit, Zoe. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…” I was fucking humiliated. It was the last thing she needed. Without a word, I dropped my hands in front of me as I backed out of the room towards my bedroom.
Just as I was about to shut the door I heard the uncontrollable giggles break out and I couldn’t help but to feel overcome with relief. I hadn’t emotionally scarred her for life. She was already damaged enough, I didn’t want to make it any worse. Pushing the door shut, I walked back to my bed and flopped down on it, running my hands through my hair. What a fucked-up way to start the day. But hey, at least she was laughing.
After throwing on some clothes, a pair of baggy grey sweat pants and a t-shirt that had seen better days, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and shuffled nervously back out into the kitchen. I wasn’t trying to be stealthy, but I didn’t know what to say, either. Instead I just stood there like an idiot as Zoe bounced around the kitchen. It made my heart soar to see a smile on her face again. It had been a long time. Too long. I didn’t want to say or do anything stupid to take it away. When she spun around and spotted me, our eyes met and she nodded softly. To anyone who hadn’t been inducted into the Zoe religion, they wouldn’t have noticed. To me it was like fireworks. This nod meant that everything was all right. As it should be. That we were fine.
My mouth fell open, but before the words could escape, my stomach growled aggressively, earning me yet another giggle.
“Someone’s hungry.”
“Starving, actually.”
“Want pancakes?”
“Who wouldn’t?”
“Sit. Tell me about your shift last night. It must have been late when you got in, I didn’t even hear you…”
Zoe was babbling. She did that when she got nervous, and although I could still hear her voice forming words, it was still revealing that she hadn’t heard me come in. Usually she heard every little sound and jumped at each of them.
“Well, Derek?”
