Chapter 6
Mia
I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. That was so not me. Josie wouldn’t hold back. She’d definitely say stuff like that, but not me. I’d like to blame it on the alcohol, but the truth was the one vodka cranberry I’d had wasn’t enough for even a lightweight like me to be drunk. I saw the shock and indecision on his strong face, and without giving it another thought, I pressed up onto my toes and pressed my lips to his. It took a moment for Derek to figure it out what was going on to get with the program. The moment he did, he took the lead. The moment I did I knew I had no control here. As his tongue plundered my mouth, his hands crept around my waist and pressed me to him. I had no reason to doubt how much he wanted me. It was pressing against my stomach.
“I’m…sorry,” he panted as he pulled away, stuffing his hands deep in his pockets.
Embarrassment flooded me. I’d never been that forward with a guy before in my life and the last thing I needed was him regretting it. “Please, don’t be. I…I wanted you to.” Even the admission caught me off guard. I needed to get the hell out of here. I told Josie I was heading home the moment she started flirting with the bartender and the security guard at the same time. As hilarious as it was to watch her pit two grown men against each other as they vied for her affections, I just wanted to go home and climb into bed with a good book. Too much testosterone around made me exhausted. And Derek had it in spades. I needed to get away from him before I did or said anything stupid. Or anything else stupid.
“I shouldn’t have. I’m working and you’re…”
“Not what you’re after.”
“I didn’t say that.”
I spied the yellow cab idling at the curb. I had many lies on the tip of my tongue ready to roll out, but one look up in Derek’s confused eyes made me rethink everything. As much as I wanted to lie to him, for some reason I couldn’t. “You didn’t have to. I’m not what anyone is after, Derek.”
Before he had a chance to respond, I kissed his cheek and ducked into the backseat of the cab. I didn’t want to look back, but I couldn’t help it. As we sped down the street, I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and watched as Derek’s head dropped. Once he was out of sight, I fell back against the seat and brushed away the tears that had settled on my cheeks. I hadn’t even realized I was crying. I don’t know where they’d come from, all I knew was I didn’t want to deal with them. At least not tonight.
“Miss? We’re here.”
My eyes opened and I realized he was right. We were stopped on my parents’ driveway. All the lights in the house were still on. After throwing some cash at the driver, I stepped out on my wobbly heels and made my way down the drive. When my ankle twisted from under me I kicked them off and let them dangle from my fingers as I padded across the deck. I’d hoped everyone had gone to bed. That would have to mean luck was on my side, though.
“Mia? Is that you, sweetheart?” Mum called out.
It was times like this I hated that I didn’t live by myself. Those times when you wanted to slink in the door, slam it shut, then slide to the ground and just let it all out. All the tears. All the frustration. All the anger. It was a luxury I craved but didn’t have. As I shuffled despondently into the living room, I couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe it was time to try it.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Dad asked as I stumbled into the room.
“I’m fine,” I lied effortlessly.
The lies came easier these days. When I’d first moved home again, I tried to tell the truth but I saw the pain it caused them. Every word I said broke my mother’s heart and made my dad furious all over again. They didn’t need to know I wasn’t fixed. They needed to believe that I was okay. I needed them to believe I was okay.
“You’re home early, it’s barely ten. Where’s Josephine?”
“Mum, it’s fine. Josie’s home. There just wasn’t much happening and I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”
“Okay then. Would you like a cup of tea?”
Inside my head, I was screaming.No, I wouldn’t like a cup of fucking tea. Tea doesn’t fix everything. Tea fixes fucking nothing.Instead I managed to politely decline Mum’s offer and head to my room. I wanted out of these clothes. They weren’t me. They were too tight, too revealing, and too…I don’t know, but they just weren’t right. Stepping into my bedroom, I shut the door, and peeled off my jeans and top before heading for the shower.
It felt like it took forever to scrub the tons of caked-on makeup from my face. I never wore the shit. I hated how it made me feel. It was suffocating. Every time I’d put it on, I’d spend the following week fighting the blackheads that popped up uninvited. Finally feeling more like myself, I slipped into my fluffy flannelette pyjamas and flopped into bed.
Flicking off the lamp beside me, I closed my eyes and willed sleep to come. Tonight was definitely not my night. The moment my heavy eyelids fluttered shut, Derek’s face appeared. Once it was there it wouldn’t go away. I hadn’t been expecting to see him again, at least not so soon. I’d never admit it to anyone, and especially not Josie, but the moment I met him at the gym something changed. Each time I thought of him, a warmth flooded me. When we spotted him with his arms folded across his impressive chest, I wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor. And the moment my lips touched his, I knew I was in trouble. Big fucking trouble.
Opening my eyes again, I realized sleep was hours away now. Now not only was I hopped up, but I was also incredibly horny. Not a good combination. And definitely not one I’d felt in a long time. It was something I’d never thought I’d feel again. I needed to stay away from him. Derek was dangerous.
Grabbing my e-reader, I opened up a trashy romance I’d downloaded and forced the thoughts of the man who made my panties damp away and focused on the billionaire in my book. It was going to be a long night.
I woke up early, too damn early, but I was wide awake. I’d started and finished a book before my eyes finally became too heavy to hold open a moment longer. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was just past five. It explained why the sun wasn’t yet peeking through my curtains. I didn’t have to be at the gym today thankfully, Julie was running my Saturday morning classes, but I couldn’t stay in bed, either. Climbing out from under the covers, I was surprised it was still cool. This time of year it was normally steaming at this hour. Quickly I got dressed, stuffed some cash in the top of my bra, and grabbed my sunglasses. If I was going to run along the beach, the glare would be painful as soon as the sun kissed the sky. Within minutes I crept out the front door without making a sound.
Two hours later I was stuffed. Absolutely buggered. I hadn’t meant to run that far or push that hard, it just kinda happened. Each step seemed to lead to the next, and before I knew it, I had sweat pouring off me. Dropping to the ground, I stretched my legs out in front of me and watched the waves as they crashed against the white sand. It was hypnotizing and calming all in the same moment. Around me the world continued, and I barely noticed until an errant soccer ball crashed into my back.
“Sorry,” an adorable little boy with freckles smiled toothlessly at me as he reached for the ball.
“It’s okay. Have fun.” I gave him the ball back before clambering to my feet and dusting the sand off my bum.
I stunk. Like I should not be around people while I smelt this bad, but coffee was calling me. Taking my time, I walked along the edge of the water until the path edged off, leading me into a busy street. It was just after eight and it was crazy. Already people fought for car parks and the cafés were crowded, and the sidewalks were already full. The smell of coffee and bacon hung in the air, and my stomach grumbled loudly, reminding me that I should eat.
