“What we had…it was real, wasn’t it?”
I coughed. That was not what I was expecting. I couldn’t believe Spencer doubted our past. I might not be able to understand our future right now, but our past was the one thing I’d never doubted. Not for a second.
“Spencer,” I sighed sadly as I wiggled out of his arms and turned to face him. If I was going to say this, then he damn well was going to look me in the eye when I did.
“It’s okay, Zoe. I get it. We…we were just kids.” His voice sounded so broken, and when I looked into his face I was devastated to see it wasn’t just his voice. He looked broken. It was worse than that. He looked shattered. Devastated. Gutted.
“Bullshit!” I barked, my harsh voice catching his attention as his gaze snapped up to meet mine. “We might have been kids, Spence, but we knew. Of course we did. I loved you with everything that I was. I loved you then and I love you now. That afternoon, the afternoon I gave you everything I had, right here, right where this truck is parked right now, I knew you’d own me forever. I might have been young, Spencer, but I wasn’t stupid. Neither were you.”
I hadn’t intended to blurt it all out like that, but it was out there now. Once it was out, I couldn’t take it back. I was surprised by the anger that flooded me. I hated that he thought so little of me. That he doubted everything we’d ever had. That he doubted me. It just pissed me off.
“You remembered our spot?” There was awe in his voice that couldn’t be mistaken.
“Of course I fucking remember. It’s not something I could ever forget, no matter how many times I’ve tried to.”
I didn’t want Spencer to know how profound an effect he’d had on my life, even when he hadn’t been in it. He didn’t need to know that in my darkest periods, his face had been the guiding light to pull me from my funk. He didn’t need to know that when certain songs came on the radio, his satisfied smirk danced across my vision. He definitely didn’t need to know the reason I hadn’t eaten a steak in all of these years was because he was the only one who knew how to cook it the way I liked it.
“Zoe,” he murmured as he grasped my face in his hands. “You’re it for me. I know you’re probably not ready to hear this, and I have no idea how this would work, but I need you to know. You’re it. I’ve loved you every moment of my life. I loved you when you married me in the sand pit?”
“We were four!” I exclaimed. He couldn’t be telling the truth. No one finds the love of their life in preschool.
“You remembered?”
“Of course.”
“I’ve loved you forever, Zoe. I know we’ve both lived another lifetime since then, but somehow, when all is said and done, we keep finding our way back to each other. I have to believe there’s a reason. It just can’t be to mess with us.”
I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks and Spencer silently wiped them away before pressing soft kisses to each of my eyelids. Before I knew it I was straddling him in the back of his truck in broad daylight. I couldn’t contain the giggle.
“This is funny?” he asked with a suggestive smirk on his face.
“Oh come on. This is fucking hilarious.” I laughed harder, burying my head in his shoulder.
Spencer’s hands were everywhere all at once, leaving a trail of goose pimples in their wake. “Glad I amuse you,” his deep, husky voice growled.
Pulling back from his chest, I rested my hands on his shoulders. “Spence, don’t you see? Think about it. Where are we? And we just basically confessed to each other that in one way or another we’ve both been in love since we were four years old. Now you’re thinking of the one hundred and one ways you can get me out of these jeans and debating which is the quickest.” I cocked my eyebrow at him as he groaned.
“You’re a witch, woman!” he chided as he ground the bulge of his jeans against me. And what an impressive bulge it was.
“No. I’m right.”
Grunting, Spencer picked me up and plopped me down beside him. “Yeah, you are,” he groaned as he leapt from the back of the truck as if his pants were on fire.
Tipping my head back, I laughed. Hard. My ribs ached but I didn’t care. I couldn’t. It felt so damn good. Everything about this moment did.
“Come here,” he demanded, his face stoic.
On shaky legs, I wobbled carefully towards the edge of the truck. Spencer reached up and lifted me down like I weighed nothing at all. As he slid me down his body, I didn’t let go. I couldn’t. Even if I wanted to let go, my hands had other ideas.
“You’re gonna to be the death of me,” he growled into my ear before nibbling on my ear lobe.
“Well, the feeling’s mutual,” I admitted, wriggling out of reach.
I didn’t want him to let go but I needed a second to breathe. To get myself together. I was falling head first into Spencer and I didn’t know if it was the smartest thing I’d ever do, but also I wasn’t dumb enough to think I had any choice. A long time ago I’d given my heart to the boy who ate dirt. Somehow, that boy had grown into the man standing before me, offering me the world.
“Come on. Let’s head back,” Spencer suggested, shaking his head and walking away from me.
Following his lead, I shuffled towards the car and climbed in. The engine roared to life, but for a moment we didn’t move. We just sat there in the deafening silence.
