Chapter 35
ZOE
I turned into Spencer’s driveway just as a motorbike roared past me. The figure looked menacing. With his tough leather jacket and intimidating black helmet, I felt the eyes hidden behind the tinted visor track my every move. With a roar of the motor, it sped off down the road, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.
Killing the ignition, I sat there for a long moment, unable to move. I’d driven straight through, stopping only to fill the tank and grab a chocolate bar, the breakfast of champions. Now I was here I was having second thoughts. Well, that wasn’t one hundred percent true. I was having second and third and even fourth thoughts. The niggling part of me in the back of my brain kept reminding me that this was a bad idea. When I’d driven past the spot I referred to as the depths of hell, I held my breath and pushed down on the accelerator. I didn’t care that I was speeding, I just needed to get as far away from there as quickly as possible. Taking a few deep breaths, I pushed open the door and stepped out into the afternoon sun. Adjusting my sunglasses, I grabbed my handbag and headed for the front door.
I didn’t want to admit it and I wasn’t sure where they’d come from, but the nerves converged. Swallowing them down, I knocked with trembling, tentative fingers.
“Hang on!” I heard Spencer’s deep velvety voice echo and a calm settled over me unexpectedly. I hadn’t even seen him and he’d already made everything better. Easier. Calmer. The moment he stepped into the doorway my heart soared. “Hey, Pippi,” Spencer said as a wide smile broke out across his face.
Then the dam burst. I didn’t think I had any more tears left in me, God knows I’d used more than my fair share over the past couple of days, but there they were. Unmistakably trickling down my cheeks.
“Ah shit,” I heard him sigh as the door opened and I was swept into the safety of his arms.
I don’t know how long we stood on the front doorstep wrapped in each other, but neither of us seemed to care. Spencer just stood there holding me, one hand stroking my hair tenderly. This man had my heart. My whole heart. I’d never tell him, let alone say it out loud, but I loved him with everything I was. There was a reason I always came back to him. There was a reason he was always there when I needed him. There was a reason that I’d move heaven and earth to see him happy.
My tears dried and Spencer pushed me away from his body, but didn’t let go. Bending down so we were eye to eye, I thought Spencer could see straight through me. I felt exposed. Vulnerable. I wanted to shrink away and hide. He held firm and I knew I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Stop! Just stop thinking whatever it is that has you tied up in knots.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I sucked in a deep breath and instantly regretted it. I kept forgetting about the pain in my ribs. “Ah,” I grimaced, grabbing at my side.
As soon as the whine escaped my lips, Spencer dropped his grip on me and stepped away. It was almost like he was scared to break me. Like I was a fragile flower. “Your bag’s in the car?”
“Yeah.”
“Keys?” he asked, extending his hand. Digging into my purse, I felt my fingers graze the cool metal and pulled them out. “Head inside and I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay,” I mumbled, shuffling inside.
“Hey Zoe?”
At the sound of his voice I spun around and looked him directly in the eye. “Yeah, Spence?”
“It’s good to have you home.”
Home. Was I home? It felt like it. It felt like this is exactly where I was supposed to be. I didn’t want it to be, but I couldn’t deny it. This was my home. Shaking the ridiculous idea off, I headed straight for the kitchen and filled the kettle.
A moment later Spencer slipped into the bar stool at the bench, his eyes following me.
“What?” I asked, grabbing a mug from the cupboard and dropping in a tea bag.
“You.”
“What about me?”
“You look like you belong here.”
I felt all the blood drain from my face. It was like Spencer could read me. Like he knew me better than I knew myself. Like he could read my thoughts. That turned my legs to jelly beneath me. I stumbled but I didn’t have time to hit the floor before Spencer was there, steadying me.
“Listen, woman! Would you just sit down and let me make you a cup of tea before you hurt yourself?”
I giggled. Spencer was trying to be domineering and tough, but I knew better. He was neither of those things. If anything he was the opposite. “Fine,” I conceded as he manhandled me onto the stool.
I watched as Spencer moved confidently around his kitchen getting my tea, and when I took a sip, I realised how perfect he really was. He’d made my tea exactly the way I liked it. Grabbing himself a beer, he lent back against the sink and popped the cap.
For a long time we just sat there in silence drinking. The sun was setting, turning the sky a vivid combination of orange and purple. In the distance a kookaburra called once again, reminding me that just beyond that door was wide open spaces. Not like at home. There were no sirens, no cars, no voices, no noises being carried on the breeze.
