“We need to have a chat.” The fear in her eyes sank me. Instantly I knew I should have approached it differently. In seconds we’d gone from relaxed, comfortable, and worry free to clinging to the edge, holding on for all we were worth. “I don’t mean it like that.”
“What about?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
Desperate to put her out of her misery as painlessly and quickly as possible, I turned so I was facing her. “I don’t want you to feel pressured, so it’s okay. No matter what you say, it’s okay. I promise.”
“Spencer! Just spit it out!” she hurried, straightening her shoulders, preparing for the worst.
“Okay…do you want me to go to a hotel?” I offered.
“Is that what you were worried about? Seriously?” Zoe laughed and her eyes lit up. I nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Spence…I spent last week in your bed. I forced you to sleep on your own couch. I have no issues, questions, or concerns with you staying. Not tonight or any other night.”
“Don’t make offers you can’t back up,” I taunted sarcastically.
“I’m not,” Zoe declared adamantly.
“Then I’m staying,” I confirmed.
I heard Zoe suck in a deep, fortifying breath. She was wringing her hands absentmindedly. “For how long?” She bit her lip, worry etched in her face.
Grinning, I couldn’t help it. “As long as you’ll have me.”
“Sounds perfect. Now, I need sleep.” she stated, standing up and stretching her arms up high above her head, causing her shirt to rise with it exposing a strip of soft, smooth skin. Her creamy skin was enticing. My mind wandered down an R-rated path without pausing to ask for directions. I felt a twitch below my waist and wished it away. I couldn’t be having those thoughts about Zoe. Especially right now.
“Sounds good. Where do you keep your spare pillows?”
“Spare pillows?”
“For the couch.”
“Don’t be an idiot! You’re not sleeping on my couch. Come on,” Zoe declared, standing up, offering her hand.
Clicking off the television, I folded the throw rug and left it on the arm of the lounge before dropping my hand in hers. Zoe led me towards her bedroom and suddenly I was nervous.
“You okay?” Zoe asked as she looked up at me with concern.
“Yep,” I lied as I popped the ‘P.’ My hand was so sweaty and clammy, it was humiliating. I dropped her hand. As I wiped them on the seat of my pants, the lie might have dropped from my lips, but my body gave the truth away.
“Sure,” she said sarcastically. “I’m going to get changed in the bathroom so you can get changed out here.”
The pained look in her eyes made my decision for me. There was no way in hell I was sleeping in this bed. I hated the fact I was responsible for putting that fear there. “Okay,” I nodded.
I watched her shuffle towards the bathroom, and when the door clicked shut, I let go of the breath I’d been holding. In one moment I regretted coming to the city and invading her space. On the other hand, I was glad I came. Zoe might have been trying to pretend everything was okay, that nothing was hurting her, that she wasn’t thinking about it, replaying it over and over, but in the quiet moments throughout the day she couldn’t hide it. At least not from me.
I pulled the curtains closed, flicked off the light, and turned on the lamp. I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. I needed to talk to her. To say something. I had no idea what. Needing reassurance or maybe just someone to tell me to stop being such a big baby, I grabbed my phone and shot a text to Kane. He’d always tell me exactly how it was, with little to no regard for my feelings. In fact I doubted he knew what feelings actually were.
Spencer: You busy???
Kane: Nah, what’s up?
Spencer: Zoe.
Kane: ???
Spencer: Says she’s ok but its bullshit.
Kane: U surprised?
Spencer: No.
