It had taken her barely forty-eight hours to completely turn my world upside down and I didn’t know if I would ever see straight again. Everything looked different. Every time I walked into the kitchen, it seemed too big. Too empty without her perched at the bench drinking a coffee. I’d been stupid. Worse than stupid. I was a fucking imbecile. I should’ve changed the sheets on my bed the moment she left, but I’d been so tired that first night I’d just collapsed. Surrounded by her scent. When I woke, I’d somehow managed to wrap myself around the pillow she’d used like it was my lifeline. And like that I was hooked. After that first night I couldn’t bring myself to wash away the last traces of her. It wasn’t even those things that had me about to explode like a fuse on the Fourth of July.
“What about Zoe? Spence?”
“Doesn’t matter.” I didn’t want to talk about it. Not today or any other day. Just thinking about it pissed me off.
“Obviously it does. Tell me,” Derek commanded, slipping seamlessly into cop mode.
Although I’d seen him in action before, it had never been directed my way. Honestly, I was glad. I didn’t like it. Not one fucking bit. “She lied,” I confirmed as I reached down and flicked off the gas.
“About?”
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
Derek handed me a plate and I piled up the meat. I’d cooked so much I’d be eating leftovers for a week.
“Are you?” he offered, his face filled with sincerity. Gone was the tough guy act.
“I can’t.” Although it was the truth, I couldn’t believe how hard the words were to say. They seemed to get caught and choke me.
“Well then, neither can I,” he confirmed. I knew it wouldn’t have been any other way. He clasped me on the shoulder. “Let’s eat.”
“Sounds good. Inside, though. Damn mozzies are driving me insane.”
After pulling a loaf of bread, sauce, and some salads from the fridge, we sat in the kitchen and dug in. I didn’t realise how hungry I was until I took that first bite. My steak was over cooked, thank god it still tasted half decent. As I chewed I tried to remember when it was that I’d last eaten a proper meal and realised it had been days. No wonder the food was vanishing before my eyes.
Twenty minutes later I was done. Stuffed so full I don’t think I could have taken another bite. Gulping down the last swig of my beer, I leaned back and belched loudly. The best thing about living with my twin, a twin whose habits were even worse than my own, meant he couldn’t bitch at my disgusting habits.
Derek cleaned his plate before copying my motions. Sometimes it worried me how similar we were. It was like Derek and I were born to be brothers. Some of the things we did were so eerily similar it scared me. Whereas Kane, on the other hand, ninety percent of the time just pissed me off. Silently, side by side, we wrapped up the leftovers and stuffed them back in the fridge, scraped the plates, and dumped them in the dishwasher and filled the bin.
Grabbing us each another beer, Derek snapped them open and herded me into the lounge room. I’d delayed it long enough, the reprieve was over. I was fed and satisfied and now it was time to talk. Shit.
I collapsed into my recliner and kicked up the footrest. This was going to be a painful conversation…the least I could do was be comfortable while I was being grilled.
We looked at each other…daring the other to speak first. But I was a stubborn shit. I wasn’t going to break.
“Well…” Derek caved.
“Yeah?”
“Okay, Spencer. Enough bullshit. What’s going on?”
“You seriously want to know?”
“The way you are right now, I think I need to,” Derek answered firmly as he toyed with the label on his beer.
“That-that…bitch…has completely fucked everything. I mean, I haven’t seen her in fuck knows how long. Then she comes home. I didn’t even know she was coming. She didn’t tell me?”
“I thought you two were best friends?”
“We were. Shit just got in the way. Time. Distance. Life. Other people?”
“In other words, she got a boyfriend or went on a date and you acted like a jealous ass. Zoe called you on it, but you, being the stubborn shit that you are, wouldn’t back down. You wouldn’t apologise?”
“That about sums it up.”
“Okay. Continue.”
“Then I had to be the one to find her. I mean, how fucking twisted is that? And it’s not her fault. I mean, if I could get my hands on the asshole who did that to her, even you, Deputy Doug, wouldn’t be able to stop me.” I looked up, expecting to see Derek’s face to be serious, but was shocked to see agreement written there. I knew he loved Zoe almost as much as I did, so it shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. “I know she didn’t ask for it and she sure as shit didn’t deserve it, but I had to be the one who found her on the side of the road. Broken and bleeding.” I took a breath. Every single image of that day was replaying in my mind like some torturous film. I felt sick to my stomach, as if I were reliving it again.
