Chapter 23
ZOE
This whole trip had been nothing but a disaster. A colossal fucking disaster. Everything that could have gone wrong had and now I was sitting in Jenna’s car, my arms wrapped around my bag staring blankly out the window at the night sky. I didn’t know what to say. She must hate me. She’d just been summoned in the middle of the night to her sons’ house only to find them beating each other senseless.
Choking on the sob stuck in my throat, I swallowed deeply.
“You okay?” Jenna asked, her voice soft and caring.
“Yeah,” I lied.
We pulled into the driveway of her modest house and I realised that not much had changed in all the years I’d been away. Her yard was still sparse and neat, and the paint, although having been refreshed, was still the same deep forest green. Killing the ignition, Jenna climbed from the SUV and climbed the stairs.
“You coming?” she called out behind her, dragging me out of my own head.
Quickly I unbuckled my seat belt and slipped from the car. As soon as the door shut, the beep from the automatic lock propelled me absentmindedly towards the front door. Stepping into Jenna’s house, I realised just how much it felt like home…an overwhelming sensation I hadn’t been exposed to in as long as I could remember. With my parents gone and no siblings to speak of, life was sometimes lonely. It was never boring, but sometimes a girl just missed the basics. Like stepping into the time capsule of her family home. Or sitting on the floor in her teenage bedroom staring at the boy band posters of days gone by.
“Well, I need a cup of tea after all that excitement.” Jenna smiled, taking the bag from my arms and leading me towards the back of the house.
When she pushed open the door, my heart caught in my throat. I was expecting it to look exactly like it did last time I’d been there. Posters on the wall. Dirty clothes piled in the corner. An unmade bed. A pile of magazines stacked on the night stand. It was nothing like that. Spencer’s teenage bedroom was gone and had been replaced by a light, clean, and airy guest room. Complete with fluffy lavender towels folded neatly at the end of the bed. A guest room ready to be used at a moment’s notice.
Jenna must have sensed my hesitation. “It’s okay, Zoe. I know it doesn’t look like last time you were here. I promise it smells much better too.”
Jenna winked at me and I felt myself blush from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I hadn’t been aware that Jenna had known how much time I’d actually spent in Spencer’s bedroom all those years ago. Apparently she did.
With a quiet laugh, Jenna moved out of the room. “Why don’t you go and grab a hot shower and warm up while I make a pot of tea? Then we can catch up.”
Not trusting myself to string a sentence together, I agreed quickly before ducking into the bathroom. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me I was thankful for a moment to myself. I didn’t know how much I needed it until I slumped on the edge of the bath and peeled off my clothes. Up until now, Spencer had been hovering over every move I’d made. I didn’t know whether he was scared I’d break or someone would break me, but for the first time since my world had up ended, I was forced to face it. Head on. On my own. It was horrifying.
Standing naked in front of the mirror, I was shocked at just how bad I looked. My legs were a map of scratches, with a few multi-coloured bruises thrown in for good measure. My ribs had finger sized bruises on them and they screamed in agony. Up until now I’d avoided taking medication, tonight though I wasn’t going to deny myself. A pain pill would knock me out for a couple of hours and let me sleep. Let me forget. Right now, it’s what I needed more than anything.
Grabbing a wash cloth, I wiped the makeup from my face that I’d caked on earlier. I didn’t recognise the person staring back at me. I didn’t like her. Thankfully the egg on my head had started to shrink but the bruise around my eye, which yesterday had been black, was already starting to sport a yellow tinge. My lip stung as I scoured my face recklessly, dripping soap on the open wound. Gasping with pain, I rinsed quickly. Unable to look at myself any longer, I stepped into the shower and blasted the water as hot as I could stand.
I don’t know how long I stood there. I didn’t care. I knew I should have been more considerate being in someone else’s house, but I couldn’t. Instead I’d scrubbed and cleansed and exfoliated my body so many times that it was now scraped red raw. The whole time I’d been trying to wash away the filth the tears had come. Stepping from the glass encased shower, I wrapped myself in the thick towel and swatted the steamy air pointlessly.
I dressed quickly, pulling on some sweats I’d stolen from Spencer’s wardrobe before I shuffled into the kitchen. Jenna was sitting there calmly sipping her tea. If I’d have been in her shoes, I don’t think I would have been able to remain as calm as she appeared to be.
Without a word, Jenna poured me a cup and nudged the sugar bowl and milk towards me. After adding a generous dash of milk I took a long sip. It was like a warm hug for my insides. I thought I was holding it together, my body betrayed me as the tears started to fall. Reaching out, Jenna encased my hand in hers and began tracing circles on the back of my hand.
It felt like it took forever for me to pull myself together. I was beyond embarrassed. I just didn’t have the energy to deal with it. I was exhausted. It was more than that, though. I was completely destroyed?both mentally and physically. I was drained.
“Why don’t you go climb into bed, Zoe? You need to get some rest,” Jenna offered in her motherly tone.
It frightened me slightly that she’d known exactly what I was thinking, but I was grateful for her compassion. “Sounds perfect,” I admitted as I pushed back the chair and carried my cup into the kitchen.
“Just leave it in the sink. I’ll take care of it in the morning,” Jenna offered. “Do you need anything?”
“Umm…just some water. I need to take a pain pill,” I admitted sheepishly. I didn’t want to be weak. If I had to be, I didn’t want anyone to know, there was just something about Jenna’s gentleness that made me believe she understood. Made me trust that she wouldn’t judge, no matter what.
“Here.” She handed me a bottle of water.
“Ta.”
I went to step around her and head to bed, but as I passed her she caught my wrist. Spinning back to face her, I recognised the heartbreak in her eyes. It was the same sadness I’d seen reflected in mine only minutes ago. Or was it hours? I wasn’t sure anymore. Everything seemed to just be blurring together into one gigantic nightmare. Without a word, Jenna slipped her arms around me and enfolded me in a warm motherly hug. It was the sort of hug that only a mother could give. It was firm and warm and made me feel loved. Protected. Special. Until that moment I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed them.
“Get some sleep. Everything will look better in the morning,” she whispered into my ear, before kissing my cheek softly and letting go.
Caught off guard, I trudged into the guest room, and with a heavy heart I slipped under the covers. After downing the medication, it didn’t take long before my thoughts became hazy and my eyelids heavy.
