Chapter 11
ZOE
I’d pushed him too far. I knew it. I’d been a selfish bitch, now Spencer was paying the price. His eyes were wide and wild. I knew I looked like shit. I felt like it. Actually that was an understatement. I felt worse than I looked. But Spencer hadn’t run away screaming. Instead he’d stepped up and helped me in the moment I needed him the most.
I could see the toll it had taken. His shirt was wet with my tears, stained with my blood, and covered in the dirt I’d left there. He hadn’t once flinched. He’d taken control when no one else had. When I hadn’t even had a chance to think about it. He’d been thoughtful. I’d known Spencer a long time…some days I thought too long…I’d never considered him thoughtful before. Yet today he’d assumed control and organised everything so it wasn’t any harder than it needed to be. Right down to giving me some of his own clothes so I didn’t have to try and wiggle my legs into my jeans.
“Hey Spence.” I smiled up at him. Right now I needed him beside me, but I didn’t want to see him hurting either. “You okay?”
“You’re seriously asking me if I’m okay?” he asked, looking like he’d been knocked for six.
I didn’t understand why he was so flabbergasted. Of course I cared. I might be a bitch most days, but I wasn’t completely heartless. At least I didn’t think I was. “Of course I am.”
“Zoe.” He smiled, stepping towards me. When his large, warm, calloused hand cradled my cheek I felt my stomach turnover. I didn’t want to acknowledge it so instead I swallowed down my emotions. “I’m fine. Nothing to worry about. Now we know you’re going to be too, so let’s get the hell out of here,” he declared.
“Sounds good to me, Spence,” I agreed quickly.
I knew we both had different ideas about where that would be. I was taking this one step at a time. First I needed those discharge papers. Once I got them and got out of the sterility of the hospital, I’d fight the next battle, and it was going to be a doozy. Somehow I had to convince Spencer to drop me off at my hotel. First things first.
A knock at the door brought me out of my own head. “Everyone decent in here?” a voice questioned.
“Well, I am, I can’t say the same about Zoe.” Spencer winked at me as Nurse Foreman pushed open the door and stepped in.
I rolled my eyes at Spencer and he just grinned knowingly. He knew exactly what he was doing. He’d always been mischievous and a troublemaker and he sure as hell hadn’t grown out of it. Nurse Foreman walked over and perched herself on the bed beside me, her hand finding its way onto my knee. I stared at it and waited for the awkward feeling to flood my body but it never came. Instead a strange calm consumed me. I let out a huge, unexpected sigh. I hadn’t realised or maybe it was just I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it before that moment, but I was tired. Bony weary exhausted.
“Well, Miss Zoe…” She smiled a crooked smile. Her teeth were worn and yellow and the wrinkles around her eyes were deeply ingrained. “You ready to break out of here?”
“Absolutely,” I answered quickly. I didn’t want anyone to get the idea I wanted to spend one more minute in the hospital than I needed to.
Nurse Foreman looked contemplative, like she had something she wanted to say, instead she bit her tongue. Turning her attention to Spencer, who had at some point melted into the corner, she asked, “Spencer, can you give us a second?” Her gaze never wavered from me.
“Yeah.” He shuffled out the door. I wasn’t blind. The way he moved from the room, I knew he didn’t want to leave, yet he did it anyway. For me.
I watched him go and felt like a part of me left with him. But I knew Spencer. He wouldn’t have gone far. He’d be just on the other side of the door waiting. Impatiently.
It took a moment after he was gone before Nurse Foreman turned to me and took both of my hands in hers. She reminded me of my grandmother. Her soft, cool hands. Her baby powder scent engulfing me, overwhelming the disinfectant. “Zoe. If you aren’t ready, you can stay here tonight. Or even if you just need another couple of hours. We don’t need to kick you out right this second. You don’t have to leave with Spencer…not if you don’t want to. I know you two have been friends since before you could walk and he’s the one who was there today, it still doesn’t mean you need to leave with him. Not if you don’t feel comfortable…”
“No!” I snapped too harshly. As soon as the word was out of my mouth I knew it was what I meant. I felt guilty about my attitude. I wanted to blame it on tiredness, on aches and pains, the truth was I was just being a bitch. “I mean, thank you. I know you’re trying to help, Spencer would never hurt me. I want to get out of here. I need to. I want a shower. And sleep. I need sleep.”
Tapping my hands with hers, I knew she forgave me. She shouldn’t, but she did. Without question or judgement, she just brushed off my nastiness and continued to be the professional she was. “Okay, Zoe. So, here’s what needs to happen…”
Nurse Foreman spent the next ten minutes explaining my immediate future to me. She handed me a bag filled with pills, creams, dressings, and a list of things to follow up later. Stitches that would need to be removed, tests I would need to have over the coming months. It was overwhelming and part of me wished Spencer was in here getting all the information and instructions with me, but the other side, the smarter more rational side, was glad he wasn’t. I needed to do this on my own. I needed to be able to stand on my own two feet. After all, I was the one who was going to have to face it.
“Do you have any questions, Zoe?” she asked, snapping my attention back to her.
“I-I don’t think so,” I stuttered.
“Okay then. Sign these and you’re free.” I could tell she was disappointed I’d chosen to escape as soon as I possibly could, the truth was I couldn’t stay. I needed to get out of there. I needed everyone to stop treating me like I was going to break. I wasn’t fragile. A shower, some sleep, and things would go back to normal. At least that was what I was praying for.
Quickly I scrawled my name across the bottom of the pages she’d handed me and took the bag of pills. Spencer pushed a wheelchair through the door just as I stuffed everything into my overnight bag.
“No! No! No!” I protested adamantly.
“Zoe…” he cautioned, his voice deep and husky.
I knew that voice. I hated that voice. That was the voice that had gotten me in trouble more than once over the years. The voice that challenged me to do wildly stupid and idiotic things. The voice that dared me to take risks I knew I shouldn’t be taking. The voice that stripped me bare and melted my insides.
“Zoe,” Nurse Foreman cooed, coming up behind me. “It’s hospital policy. You need to be in the chair to the front door and then you can walk…”
