But that small, fleeting moment of release only lasted for a few seconds. Shame fell on me like nothing else ever had before.
I didn’t know if I should have permission to do that, or if Sabastian would even care if I did take care of….things.
Was he going to punish me if he found out? Would he be like Sir, and make me lick it all up, even though it was next to impossible to clean out of cloth like that?
I took deep breaths, willing my panic to stay away. If Sabastian didn’t know, then he couldn’t punish me for it. Or so I tried to tell myself.
Scrambling out of bed, I quickly used the bathroom and pulled my hair back off my face. Having strands in my face while trying to do laundry was one of the most annoying things ever.
After starting the first load, the soiled comforter first, I made my way downstairs.
With my shoulders down and arms loosely around my middle, I shuffled to the kitchen. Grabbing a muffin from the counter, knowing that if I didn’t at least eat breakfast, Sabastian would punish me.
I really wasn’t a big eater. It was hard enough to force myself to eat a full blueberry muffin, let alone eat three meals a day. And then he wanted me to add in a snack, too?
Was he crazy? Well, he might have been in fact, a bit crazy. He wanted to keep me, even though I had done next to nothing to serve him.
Letting my gaze travel out the window, I was nowhere closer to figuring out what he wanted from me than I had been that first day I was here.
It’d be easy to walk out of the door and disappear into the unknown. It’d take him long enough to come to track me down, I could be miles away if I tried.
But I couldn’t leave. The monsters were still out there, waiting for a chance to get their claws on me again. Just because Sabastian had a say over them, that would likely change if I did run.
Plus, what was out there? Was there anything that I didn’t have here? I’d lose a bed, warmth, andcuddles. That wasn’t worth losing over trying to find something better.
I didn’t think I’d find anything better than what I have right here, right now.
Sabastian wanted me, even if he hadn’t done anything to me like Sir did. I was...being cared for. It was nice, and different than how I’d ever gotten treated before.
I think I liked it here. Or at least, I could start to. Maybe I already did.
Finished with the muffin, I cleaned up any crumbs that may have fallen before heading back upstairs.
With Sir, I knew boredom very well. I knew how to keep myself busy or pretend to be waiting for whatever he wanted to do with me next. Here, it was different. The pacing was only so good for so long. And reading was always an option.
How had I forgotten?
I had achore, something so simple, yet time-consuming.
Sabastian’s lists that he wanted me to go over. Three books worth, which probably wouldn’t take me all that long. But if I got to have those books in my hands again, I was reading through every single page.
I was going to make it worth my time. Plus, he didn’t say I couldn’t.
This time, so I didn’t forget about the washer, I took the first book and a pen to sit in the hallway, where I could hear the washer sing its little cute song when it was finished. With my back against the wall, knees bent up enough, I opened the cover and started on the checklist.
***
“Oakley?” A soft touch swiped over my face, causing me to scrunch it up.
I didn’t want to wake up. I was comfy. Well, not really. One side of my face was on the carpet, the fibers itchy as my body became aware of where I was.
When had I even fallen asleep?
“Wake up, sleepy boy.”
I blinked my eyes open, trying to get the sleepy haze to go away.
“How long have you been napping down here?”
