I didn’t want the monsters; I never did. That was the only thing I’d do anything to get rid of. And if Sabastian could get rid of them, take them away so they never bothered me again, then I’d let him do anything to me.
Well, I’d let him do whatever to me anyway.
“I’ll take it all away,” Sabastian said softy. “On one condition.”
Anything, I thought. I nodded slowly.
“I want to know everything that goes on up here.” He tapped my forehead lightly. “I want to know all your thoughts, wants, and needs. I want to knowwhen you don’t want to do something. I want to know when there’s something you do want to do.”
But I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know how to tell him what I didn’t like, either. My thoughts were always just that. Mine. Something that was never shared. Sir never cared about me. He just liked to play with me in way too many ways.
“I’ll….try?”
Whatever Sabastian saw in my expression, it caused him to smile, one that reached his eyes.
“I can’t ask more than that.”
Even he knew I could only try. My thoughts weren’t ever meant to be heard.
“It’ll take time, but I’ll share my thoughts too, to show you that I care.”
Was that going to mean more words that made me feel all funny inside?
“Now, how about breakfast?”
I’d rather skip the meal, and just stay right on this man’s lap, but instead, I got my body to move. My bare feet touched the floor, and one of Sabastian hands landed on my lower back, steering me towards the island where I tended to sit and watch him.
“I have a house cleaner,” he began, pulling out a pan from the cupboard. “She’ll be here in about an hour or so.”
“I can clean.” I sat up straighter. I’d do anything.
“I know you can, little one,” he paused long enough to look up from what he was doing. “But I don’t want you to. The cleaner has been cleaning for me since I bought this place. She can keep her job, and you will have chores. Like picking up after yourself. Or doing the laundry and quick wipe-downs that you’ve been doing.”
“But-“ I instantly shut my mouth.
I knew better than to argue. I knew better than to push for something that was already laid out.
“You are not here to clean for me,” Sabastian said, voice lowering. “You are here to heal, to find a form of a life that you can enjoy.”
Cleaning was easy though, and much better than being on all fours to take whippings. Still, I wasn’t going to argue.
We both fell into silence, one that wasn’t filled with fear. Watching Sabastian cook breakfast was starting to be one of my favorite things to do. Okay, watching him do just about anything was.
It didn’t take him long to make some scrambled eggs and toast. Something easy and quick.
“Tell me one thing you want. Not what you think I want to hear. Something you’ve never had before.”
I shoved a bite of egg in my mouth so I couldn’t answer. There were many things I’ve had before. Things I never allowed myself to dream about getting.
I could only offer a shrug.
“I will be getting you something for your birthday. I’d rather get you things you want over random items.”
“I’ll like whatever you get.” I kept my eyes down, my heart pounding too quickly in my chest all of a sudden. Iwouldlike whatever he got me.
With only knowing this man for maybe a month, I knew he wouldn’t get me things that I didn’t need or enjoy in some way. Heck, he could get me a blanket and I’d be content. Or a new toothbrush.
Wait…
