Oakley’s humanity was going to my undoing.
Looking through some websites and sipping my coffee, I was no closer to figuring out what to get the boy for his upcoming birthday. I knew he wouldn’t want anything flashy, but I wanted to spoil him. Shower him with gifts, if he’d let me. But I knew he wouldn’t want much, if anything.
I had an idea, but would he get mixed messages from it?
Not any closer to knowing the right answer, I glanced up at the right time to see none other than Oakley shuffle into the kitchen. The stuffed animal was hanging loosely in one hand, while the other rubbed at his eyes.
He was so darn adorable.
“Morning.” I didn’t tag on any nicknames. I couldn’t tell what mindset he was in, and I didn’t want to push him one way or another.
With most of the people I played with, I knew what mindset they were aiming for, and it was easy to help them get there. At the club, it was where one went to get into a mindset, having a room dedicated to just that.
With Oakley, it was hard to tell where his mind was at. Heck, I didn’t even know howlittlehe could go if the circumstances were right. Would he be one of the few who fell into wanting bottles and maybe even diapers once in a while? Or would he be one that wentto that midframe when he couldn’t regulate his emotions and thoughts?
Either way, I would be there for him. Day and night.
Oakley paused, his eyes bounced from me to the chair he’d all but claimed as his own, to anywhere else that wasn’t me.
“Pick wherever you want, sweetheart. I won’t be upset about whatever you decide.”
It took him a few long minutes before he shuffled towards me. With each step, his eyes grew uncertain, as if he doubted himself.
I waited, knowing he needed to start making some choices on his own. I couldn’t be there every second of the day, telling what he could or couldn’t do.
Some things would need to change. New rules needed to be put into place, ones I should have thought about sooner.
Finally, Oakley stood before me, one hand twisting the hem of his shirt, the other twitching with the stuffed animal in its hold.
I scooted my chair back and opened my arms. No words were needed as he crawled into my lap, legs hanging off the side across my own.
He let out a sigh, resting his head against my shoulders as I wrapped my arms around him.
“You can always seek me out for comfort.” I was pretty sure I said that once, but I’d say it many more times if it got through his head.
The boy lacked many things, and being held seemed to be the biggest thing he missed.
“Please don’t….hurt me.” His voice was small, and I almost missed it with how quiet it was. His body trembled as he pressed himself closer.
What the hell kind of torture did Donny do on this boy?
“Never. I promise to never hurt you.” That was something that’d take time to prove to him. “I’ll never lift a hand in anger, I’ll never force myself on you, and I will never, ever, do harm to such a sweet boy like you.”
Oakley sniffed, then took a deep breath like he let go of the entire world.
“No…you…won’t….monsters?”
I pressed a kiss to the top of his head, trying to figure out what he was talking about.
“I won’t send monsters after you.” He nodded quickly, which was enough to answer my confusion about what he was trying to say. “Can you tell me what Donny did? What did he make the monsters do?” I could only assume Donny was the one to start the fear, or at least grow the fear, in the boy.
I didn’t expect an answer, and right when I was about to ask something else, he spoke. His voice was timid, and his entire body shook. All I could do was offer him more comfort, tightening my arms around him.
“Sir…Donny, I mean….he…he’d leave me alone at night. No lights, nothing. He’d…he’d go outside and call for the monsters to come get me. Sometimes, he didn’t have to call them at all.
“They’d scratch at the windows. They’d call my name. ….then they would come to get me and hold me down. They’d touch, and scratch me. And put things in me….and…and….”
I didn’t need any other words to know the sick game Donny played. I pressed my cheek against the top of Oakley's head, shushing him the best I could.
