“Can I fix the books in the bedroom? Please?”
The disorder of how he put all the books back on the shelf was bugging me. A few were sideways again, and they weren’t in order.
“Tomorrow, yes. But the rules are still the same.”
He didn’t need to remind me. I knew the rules.
I nodded quickly.
I just had to figure out a way to put the two books back in the mix, though. But since I did kind of stealthem in the first place, it should be fairly easy to slip them back into place.
“It’s bothering you that much, huh?”
If I didn’t have to see it so many times a day, it probably wouldn’t bother me at all. But the shelf was always in sight with its messed up books. I’d eventually do it anyway, with or without Sabastian’s okay in doing so.
“Alright,” he said, moving his hand to cup my cheek. His skin was warm, soaking into me instantly. I couldn’t help but lean into his palm, seeking whatever he’d give me. I was like a dog who would gladly take any type of affection, no matter the consequences. “Although I could easily let you kneel here for me for a while, it’s not your place to do so.”
My place? Of course, it was. That’s what Sir trained me for. To be of another man’s service.
“Up on the couch, Oakley. We’ll watch something before bed.”
If the hardness in his sleep pants wasn’t enough of an indication that he liked me kneeling for him, then his heated look earlier sure was.
I slowly stood and sat back on the couch. I didn’t sit right on the edge this time, but my body was still stiff, waiting for whatever Sabastian wanted of me next.
Sir would want me. He’d want me to chock on his cock, gagging around his width and swallowing all of his juice.
I swallowed, remembering too well the last time Sir forced his dick into my mouth and cut off my air supply.
“Relax, Oakley,” Sabastian shuffled back into a laid-back position. “I’m not going to force you to do something that you don’t want.”
But that’s exactly what I kept waiting for. It wouldn’t matter if I didn’t want to do something whenhewould be the one who wanted something from me.
Doubt began to seep in as Sabastian picked something to watch. Doubt about many things, but mostly, did he even like me?
Why bring me here into his home if he wasn’t going to do any of the things that Sir told me another man would want? Was I not want this man wanted? Was I notprettyenough?
Sir always made comments about me, about my body. They weren’t always good, but he said them anyway. Spoke things that made me quiver in fear.
I’d forever hear those words whispered in my ear. They were seared into my brain like the burning sun.
I’d never be good enough to be anything more than what someone said I was. I was as dirty as a bug on the bottom of someone’s shoe. I may be as pretty as a girl, but my mind wasn’t worth the effort for someone to want to get to know me for who I was.
I was, and always would be, just something to take up space.
***
I was sure that so much time alone was causing my mind to wander. With Sir, I was always waiting, knowing he was watching and bidding his time to do whatever he wanted next. I was always prepared for him to demand my attention.
With Sabastian, I was waiting, but it didn’t feel the same. It was easier when he was gone from the house, giving me plenty of time to wander around andbe bored. Which, given, I was used to. Sir did the same thing, He wasn’t always at home, but normally I slept off and on because my sleep was always interpreted either by him or the monsters.
Since Sabastian had me start taking those tiny white pills, my sleep had been better. A few nights of good sleep, and I was crawling out of my skin with not having much to do. I wasn’t waiting with my heart in my gut for something to happen.
I assumed, since I had nothing else to go off of, that Sabastian was waiting for me to officially turn eighteen. Not that it mattered to me in the slightest. Age never did, and Sir made sure that it didn’t. Why else would he keep my true age away from me?
Heck, how could I even be sure I was turning eighteen? Both Collin and Sabastian could easily be lying, too.
Forcing those thoughts away, because I didn’t have any say over what age someone wanted me to be, I forced my focus back on the books.
