The pacifier was back in my pocket before I led the way up the stairs. Going to the bathroom with the bigger tub, I started the water before kneeling at the sink and pulling out the soap. Baths needed bubbles, no matter how old someone was.
Oakley stood there not far away, in between the bathroom and bedroom, shaking like a leaf.
One wrong move, and he’d bolt. I could see it in the way he kept looking everywhere but at the bathtub.
Had Donny hurt him that way before?
“Oakley?”
He looked up, tears in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?
He shook his head, dropping his eyes back to the floor.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” My promise fell on deaf ears.
With a deep breath, I stood in front of him. I didn’t think any amount of words were going to get through to him. Only my actions.
Gently, I got him undressed, uncovered his thumb, and kept talking, even if he didn’t hear a single thing I said.
He wasn’t there mentally in front of me any longer. His brain had shut down, even if the tears came.
Cupping his cheek, he blinked, not moving other than breathing.
What the hell did Donny do to this sweet boy?
Grabbing his hand, I led him towards the bath. Oakley followed my orders, stepping into the soapy water, and then sitting as stiff as a board.
Once he was in, I slipped the pacifier into his mouth, then I began to wash him.
Not sure if my touch was helping him, or making it worse, I went with my instincts. I talked and told him exactly what I was doing as I washed his hair. I scrubbed gently at his scalp. I washed his back. I rinsed him off.
I wiped a cloth over his arms, taking a better look at the marks he gave himself.
I wanted to be the one that gave him pain if he needed it. I wanted to be the arms that he came crawling to when he was sad. I wanted to be his everything, and that scared me.
Four days ago, I wanted nothing to do with the boy. And now, I wanted everything with him.
How could a simple person make my heart squeeze so easily? How could I cave to my needs and wants by seeing this broken boy?
“What am I going to do?” I asked the room, not expecting answers as I finished washing Oakley off.
I never believed in love at first sight. But Oakley was different. He didn’t even have to try to worm his way into my heart, and he didn’t even know it.
I could see us together for years. I could see myself taking care of him, dotting on him, and showing him how truly amazing the world can be. But I could also see him finding his voice, finding life, and leaving to explore it without me.
And I’d let him go if that was what he’d want.
Because, despite how I found Oakley, I wasn’t a cold-hearted monster.
Chapter 20
Oakley
Blinking the world back into focus, forgetting where I had been and where I was, my brain hurt.
It usually did after I had a cup of apple juice with Sir, so I wasn’t surprised. Only, I was still in the bathroom with Sabastian.
