Still looking defeated by life, I looked like the sissy girl that Sir wanted me to be. Round slim face, dull eyes, small nose, and a dimpled chin.
I was nothing special. I was just a breathing person, waiting for the day I could finally die.
I assumed Sabastian wasn’t happy with how I looked. He didn’t let his eyes travel over me more than that one time. He didn’t make remarks about my clothing or my body. And he didn’t touch me in places like Sir did.
So, then, why was I even here? Why did he buy me if he didn’t want me for my body like Sir said so many men wanted?
Having no answers, I turned away from the mirror. I wasn’t going to find any answers to the questions. I didn’t dare ask them, either. Keeping them all locked up in my mind would be better.
When my eyes landed on my thumb, still bandaged, I began to pick at the sticky tape around it. It didn’t take long to uncover it, tossing the trash to the trashcan under the sink.
Around the base of my thumb was red from the force of my teeth. A little scabbing, but really, nothingthat bad. Considering everything I’ve been through, that didn’t even hurt.
Having nothing better to do, I made my way to the bed. This time, I sat on it, pulling myself to sit against the headboard before pulling out the book that Sabastian had said I could read.
I’d prefer to read the other one he’d rudely taken away. Having those types of rules that were outlined in that book was something I craved. They’d be so easy to follow, and it was all straightforward. There weren’t any hidden meanings behind them. So unlike everything in my life.
There were other books on the shelf that were similar, though. I could spot them on the shelf, sitting there and calling my name.
Would he even notice if I read them? Maybe I could be sneaky. Sabastian wasn’t here.
Looking around the room, I saw one single camera, which was pointed towards the bed. I tilted my head, wondering if he could see where I was before. But then, as I watched, the camera moved a bit.
Alight. Yeah, he could see me when I was in the corner.
But I didn’t think he’d be able to see if I read a different book. Not if my back was turned.
Slipping from the bed once again, I walked to the bookshelf before sitting down.
The small bit of fear of what would happen if he found out was there, telling me to behave. Telling me to remember the few rules that had been given.
But, I told myself. If he didn’t want me to read them, he’d have taken them all out. He’d have checked to make sure that there wasn’t any more before leaving me tied up in here again.
Without turning to look at the camera, because then he’d surely know I was up to something, I reached out with shaking hands and grabbed one of the books. This one, instead of a pacifier on the front, was a bottle and blanket. The blanket looked soft, just like the sweater I had on.
I wondered what it’d feel like rubbing against my cheek. Would it feel the same as it did against my arms?
“Show me what book you’re looking at.” The voice came through a speaker, one that Sir liked to use when he wanted music. I wasn’t allowed to use it, of course.
With my heart in my throat, knowing I was in trouble, I slipped the book on the floor and picked up a random one from the shelf.
I held it up behind me, in front of where the camera sat. It took a moment before Sabastian’s voice came through again.
“Read the book I gave you yesterday. Those are all off-limits until I have time to look at them better.”
I sighed, putting the book back. But, as I stood up, I put my foot on the book I wanted to read, scooting it with me as I went back to sit on the bed.
I wasn’t sure how I’d get to read it, but I’d figure out a way. And a way to hide it.
Consequences be damned.
Chapter 13
Sabastian
“Ooh, she’s a pretty thing,” my brother said, which earned him a shove in the chest. I may have hit him a bit harder than I normally would, but Oakley was for my eyes only.
Blaise was one of the few that I could talk to about what was going on, but that didn’t mean I wanted him to snoop, either. He was one of the few who was still single in the entire family.
