At least I still owned my soul, and I didn’t think that was going to change any time soon, thankfully.
I made quick work using the bathroom and brushing my teeth. The door was cracked open, and I could hear Sabastian trying to talk some sort of sense into Dixie.
Peaking around the frame, I saw the puppy trying to find a comfortable spot on my pillow. I couldn’t help but let the small smile lift the corners of my lips. That wasn’t going to work. I quite enjoyed my pillow, and the bed for that matter.
Quickly finishing up, I exited the bathroom so Sabastian could use it.
“You aren’t taking my spot, Dixie,” I said, easily picking her up, and moving her to the end of the bed. “You can be there. Or just steal his. That’d work too.”
“I heard that, little one.”
I widened my eyes at Dixie, who easily curled up at the foot of the bed. I knew he would, but I was more surprised by my own words coming out like that.
I wasn’t a tease. I didn’t joke around, either.
At least I can’t be called a slut anymore,I thought, sobering up at that thought.
Breathing through my nose, I took a deep breath and let it out. I had to get my mind to either shut off completely or something because tonight wasn’t going to be as good as the day had been.
Pulling off my skirt and underwear, I tossed them into the hamper before crawling into bed and under the blankets. My entire body shook as I lay on my side, back facing the bathroom door.
Could I really do this? Would I be strong enough?
My breath caught in my throat for a second before I forced myself to calm down. I knew that something would happen eventually. Now that I was officially an adult, I was more certain than ever about what was going to happen.
All I could hope for was for it not to hurt.
It felt like it took Sabastian longer than normal in the bathroom, but when he emerged, I clenched my eyes tight.
My ears strained, listening as he moved about the room. Changing his clothes, turning off the main light, only to turn on the low lamp that worked to keep the monsters at bay. He plugged in his phone and then crawled into bed.
Forcing my body to relax, which was way harder than it ever had been before, I blinked my eyes open. I kept my gaze pinned to his chest, not daring to look up any farther.
“Did you enjoy your birthday?”
“Yes, thank you.” I enjoyed it. It’d be forever a day I’d remember and hang on to because there may never be a day like it again.
“Come here, sweetheart.” With an arm above the pillows, we both moved so we were closer together. Just like how we normally were at this time of night. “You’re shaking.”
I couldn’t stop doing so, even if I wanted to. My body trembled, so much I was sure that it was shaking the bed.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, not able to speak as my voice got clogged in my throat. There was no way I’d be able to speak the words in my mind right now.
“Oakley,” his voice lowered. “I can’t help if you don’t talk. We’ve had a great day, haven’t we? You opened up a bit, even. Teasing here and there. I’m proud of you for that, by the way.”
I took in a deep breath. “Will it hurt?”
“Will what hurt?” He seemed to be generally confused.
“When….you take….my body.”
“Oh, Oakley.” He pulled me closer to him, wrapping an arm around my back to hold me there. Maybe he knew I’d likely bolt if given the chance. “I will never take what I want from your body. You own every bit of yourself. I will never use you for my pleasure.”
Was he for real?
Sir always said I’d be used for my…lack of being used. I’d be taken so hard, bread like a piece of nothingness that I was.
