It took too much to keep breathing, so I held my breath. Even when he held out a cup of water in one hand, and a protein bar that I had made earlier today.
“You haven’t been eating well.” Jasper stated, as I slowly reached out to take the two offered things. My breaths became shallow and I gently took the things, making sure to not touch his skin.
How he could tell I hadn’t been eating was beyond me. I wore long sleeves for a reason, and a lot of hooded sweaters lately. No one could tell that I only ate dinner, and even then, it was maybe half of what I usually ate since coming to this house. But I did eat one of these bars once a day, just to keep Dawn from making me drink those gross drinks.
“There’s two of you in this room that haven't been eating well. Or sleeping.” Beckettmused, taking a seat on a chair that was farthest from me. “Hence an intervention time.”
“That’s not going to help, Beck.” Jasper took a different spot that was even farther away. He went to the window that overlooked the front and side yard. The window I had kept the curtains closed on for one main reason.
I didn’t want to see the comings and goings of a certain person anymore. I didn’t want to see who visited, either.
I slowly nibbled on the bar, taking sips of water in between. The TV wasn’t even on, which was fine with me. I’d eat my stupid snack and drink the water so I could get back to the cookies. I had to finish the frosting part today to stay on time for the other things I planned.
But neither of us needed an intervention. I was just peachy over here, doing everything I possibly could to not think about the stupid, dressed in black, neighbor who seemed to still get into my thoughts.
I huffed, pulling off Asher to lean more against the back of the couch.
I didn’t need to be so clingy; I didn’t need to demand attention. That boy who wanted to cling to any human and cry for hours on end wasn’t here anymore.
I was strong, or I tried to make myself believe. I didn’t need another human to keep me happy. I kept myself busy; and was goingto start making money and move out of this house so I never had to see Jasper again.
“Koda?”
I looked up too quickly, my vision going dark for a moment, when Noah called my name.
So lost in thought, I forgot others were here. Which could have gone horribly bad for me. It was bad enough that I wasn’t thinking straight lately. Not for a long while.
He was sitting on Beckett’s lap, content and happy like nothing in the world could touch him. Noah was so small in that lap, but at the same time right at home. Like he belonged there.
“What movie?”
I lifted a shoulder. I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I’d really follow along with it anyways.
“You’ll have to pick, Noah.” Jasper answered for me. “Or someone. He won’t answer ya’ll.” He sounded as tired as I felt, but I kept my eyes firmly on the floor.
He wasn’t wrong, so I wiggled a bit on the floor, pulling my chin on top of my folded arms on my knees. It wasn’t comfortable, but it’d keep me awake. Maybe I’d even be able to sneak away and finish my frosting.
“And here you are, saying you aren’t a daddy,” Noah huffed. Then a second later, he went on. “What? It’s true. Jasper knows him. Itjust makes sense if he’d just figure it out instead of me having to point it out.”
“You keep running that mouth, little one,” Beckett said way too calmly.
I looked up at the two again. Noah wasn’t scared in the slightest at the threat, but Beckett’s look was a bit darker, a bit grim.
Even though that look wasn’t aimed at me, I still scooted closer to Asher, leaning against his leg once more.
“This is how they are,” Asher was quick to say, a hand back on my head. “Noah likes to push Beckett’s limits, which in turn gets some sort of agreed punishment. They both have a list at home on what they are both comfortable to do, or receive.”
“It keeps it fun.” Noah wiggled, but Beckett easily pulled him back against his chest. “I can’t be boring.”
Boring was better, I thought. I like boring, predictable events.
“I don’t do anything he hasn’t wanted. Ever. Even so, we use special words that put a stop to any of it at any moment.” Beckett added in. “Now, be good so you don’t scare your friend.”
Noah wasn’t the one being scary. I glanced at Asher, completely ignoring Jasper who was very quiet by the window.
“Three colors. If either of them wanted to put a stop to their antics, they say yellow orred. Or I can. There’s been times I haven’t been…happy about a certain antic that Noah pulls.”
“And we stopped. Talked, and made notes on the papers we have about what is okay or not okay to do again. Triggers for Asher come up at random times, and it's all about teaching each other. Even if we’ve lived together for over a year now.”
