I hated taking a white pill in the middle of the day, and I’d still have to take one before going to bed tonight.
“One more bite?”
I had to give Jasper a tiny bit of credit. He really was trying to get me to eat a full piece of chicken, but it wasn’t going to happen.
I pushed the take-out box a bit further away from me.
“Alright. We’ll try again later.”
Did that mean he was staying? Or staying until Dawn got back?
Not having enough energy to dwell on the question, I slowly stood from the table, and shuffled towards the couch. There was no way I’d make it up the stairs on my own at the moment.
Nearly flopping onto the couch, I somehow got myself folded up against a corner, feet on the cushion, and head laying a bit awkward on the arm. I wasn’t comfortable, and my body would hate me later, but it was asgood as I was going to get when I didn’t have much care in the world.
I focused on my breathing as Jasper put away the food. Water ran, then his feet were headed my way.
“That doesn’t look comfortable,” he mused as he sat a couple of bottles of water down on the coffee table before taking a seat on the other side of the couch. “I’ll hold you, if you want.”
Liking that idea, I slowly got my body to flop towards him instead of the armrest. Jasper ended up having to help me, getting me to lean against his side with an arm wrapped around me.
My nose pressed against my shoulder, breathing him in as my body relaxed.
If he had held me like this before, when a magic pill wasn’t in my system so much, a certain body part would be awake and I’d be doomed. It was bad enough I had a crush on this man; one that would never be returned.
“I won’t go anywhere until you tell me to.” His whispered words were accompanied by a light squeeze.
“Want you to stay.” I hoped my words came out, since to my ears, it all sounded underwater garbles.
“I’ll be here. You can lay down, or stay right where you are. Or whatever.”
Glancing up towards him, I wasn’t sure he’d really want me to crawl into his lap. My heart craved it. Craved to be held and cherished.
I blinked, causing another couple of tears to trickle down my cheek.
“I’d love nothing more than to take away whatever reason you’re crying, but I know that’s not an option I can do. So, for now, I will hold you however you need me to.”
All I could manage was to snuggle deeper into his side. I just wanted him to tell me where he needed me. I wanted him to pull me to whatever position was best.
Choices weren’t something I was great at to begin with. And right now, it wasn’t something I could even do.
“You know what…” Jasper sighed, like he wasn’t so sure about what he was about to propose. “Screw it. Tell me if you don’t want something. Or use those colors we talked about.”
“Hmmhmm.”
As the seconds ticked by, and my brain knowing I was in a safe place, my body was falling deeper and deeper into that blissfulness of nothing.
Once again, I squinted my eyes open enough to figure out what was going on as Jasper picked up my entire body, putting me into his lap like I was a child.
With my side against his front, head resting along his neck and his arms wrapped around me, I found the comfort I had been wanting since the last time I had been held in his hold.
“Much better, don’t you think?”
I think I may have nodded.
“Sleep, little dove.”
That, I certainly could do.
