“I see….” There was a long pause before she went on. “I think that’s normal. And okay. I don’t see Jasper hurting you there either. But he’s…I want to think that he doesn’t see you that way.”
Oh, that I knew. But it didn’t help my issue.
“I think it’s normal to have a crush on someone. It means your mind is healing. And Jasper feels like a safe person to let the emotions simmer towards. He’s great with you, so I can see why he’d be the one your brain latches onto.” Another pause. “I never thought I’d have to have this sort of talk.”
I cracked a smile, feeling the same way. I never once thought I’d feel this way towards anyone. And it’d most likely disappear. Because I knew without a doubt Jasper would never see me that way.
“Hello!” I jerked, some of the warm liquid splashing over the rim of the cup. “You’re Jasper’s Koda!”
I blinked. Jasper’s Koda?
“I’m Noah. Jasper told me you won’t shake my hand. Or talk. And if I were to come over here, I had to promise to keep my hands all to myself. But does he know how impossible that is? Because I just wanna hug you and never let you. You’re so cute. I love your glasses.”
Uh…I had no thoughts as he rambled. His hair was a bit crazy, like he had just rolled out of bed to get here on time. But what was surprising was that he wasn’t very tall. Maybe a couple inches taller than I was.
“Sir Jasper didn’t tell us much, which is so unfair. But he left us to come sit with you, so you must be important to him. So that just means you’ll be my friend. Asher says I’m like a leech, but Daddy says it’s just my personality. And no one can fault me for being me.” He tipped onto his tiptoes, then went flat again.
“I’m sure Jasper told you that Koda isn’t in that lifestyle right now,” Dawn thankfully took charge, but her voice was calm like it was an everyday occurrence to meet someone like this. Maybe for her, it was. What did I know?
“Yes.” Noah pouted a long second before he switched to all smiles again. “Which is fine. I can still have friends that aren’t like me. But I like to cuddle. Do you like to cuddle, Koda? I’m the best at it. Daddy says so. But Asher complains when I take over the bedsometimes. But that’s because we need a bigger bed.”
Did this boy ever breathe?
But then my mind latched onto the name. Asher.
“…Daddy couldn’t come today, and Asher had to work so I came by myself. But I really wish one could have come through.”
I tapped Dawn’s arm, then spelt out Asher’s name with my fingers.
“Who’s Asher?”
“He’s my bestest friend ever,” Noah gushed, his eyes turning dreamy. “I love him. He used to be super sad, but I made him happy. I wasn't thrilled about it at first. But I didn’t give up.” He patted his pockets, looking for something. When he found his phone, he quickly turned the screen our way.
“That’s my Ashie. And Daddy is on my other screen. See?” He clicked, showing himself and another man who was older on the screen staring back at me.
I tapped Dawn’s hand again, then pointed at the phone, and in turn Noah.
“Do you know Ashie? He doesn’t talk about people who I knew before I met him much. Which is perfectly fine. I don’t push. Those people in his past aren’t nice. They hurt him. Lots. Maybe he’ll remember you. I’ll tell him all about you anyways.”
I highly doubted he’d remember me, even though I remembered him. The picture of Asher showed him years older than when I met him, but I’d know that face anywhere.
At least I didn’t feel crazy for seeing him that one time.
“I highly doubt your …. Uh… friends would remember Koda. He’s never talked or given out his name to anyone until I found him.”
Wait….I held out nine fingers. I was a number. Maybe Asher would remember that. Or maybe not.
“Nine?” I nodded, then pointed at the phone that had a black screen now. “Okay? I’ll…pass the number to him. And your name. Who knows. But…oh. Hi Jasper!”
“Hey, little one,” Jasper came behind Noah, easily pulling him into a side hug. “Time to come back to the group.”
“Oh, okay,” Noah sighed, like he’d rather talk my ear off for hours on end. “If Ashie knows you, I’ll tell him to talk to your Jasper.”
Jasper cleared his throat. “No one has to do what you want them to do, Noah.”
“But he was asking about him. It’s the right thing to do.”
Jasper looked between me, then to Noah, then to Dawn. I wasn’t sure what Dawn’s look was, but he seemed to accept the answer of the boy who was halfway cuddled against his side.
