Chapter 29
Age 18
My birthday came and went. Dawn gifted me more clothes, cooking stuff, and a pair of wireless headphones.
The headphones would have been nice two weeks ago as I finished up cleaning through Mrs. Lee’s rooms on the bottom floor. Other than the kitchen, there was the laundry room, bathroom, living room and an office space. The two other bedrooms on that floor didn’t need to be cleaned.
Between Dawn and Jasper, they decided I was only to work two days a week since I wasn’t taking a break for lunch. On those days, one of them would stop by with some food and make sure I ate. At least neither of them demanded I stop working, and the cash was nice to have for a rainy day, I guess.
I still had no clue what I was going to do with having any sort of money. All my needs were met. I had more than enough clothes and shoes to last the rest of my lifetime.
Rubbing at my eyes, I willed the screen before me to clear up. I hated answering things, but I had to prove that I could get some sort of schooling finished.
I wasn’t sure what Dr. Shaw and Dawn came up with, but whatever it was contained afew pages of questions that I had to answer to the best ability that I could. Then, I’d get a piece of paper in the mail saying I completed all required schooling.
Going over the questions one more time to make sure they were all completed, I finally sat back and pressed the submit button.
Whatever happened next was now out of my hands.
Dr. Shaw said I wouldn’t fail; it was just a way to get a GED in a different way through some sort of program for people like me. People who were too traumatized to be in a classroom setting and to answer things.
I did look up what kind of info was on a GED test, and none of that stuff I had learned. Why did people even learn math that contained numbers and letters and lines all in one problem? Just looking at some of those problems broke my brain.
Glancing at the clock, I realized I once again forgot to eat lunch. And I was kinda sure I hadn’t eaten breakfast, either.
I wanted to say it wasn’t my fault. I just wanted to get this stuff done and over with so I could spend more time…doing something better.
The idea of possibly trying to sell my treats kept bugging me. I wasn’t sure I could do it, but maybe I’d be at least up to giving it a try.If Dawn was there, she’d be able to do all the talking and selling until I knew what to expect.
I hadn’t brought it up to her yet, but I knew she’d be supportive of it, if I wanted to give it a try.
Other than that, nothing had changed. Being eighteen wasn’t any different than being seventeen.
Thanks to Dr. Shaw, who I was still seeing twice a month now, was helping to get funding set up from some programs that were now available to me. I didn’t see the point in that, but it was one of the things I didn’t have much say in.
Sure, it was possible that someday I’d need the money to live a life on my own, and saving enough money now to buy my own place years down the road was a good idea. Although, I didn’t see myself moving out of Dawn’s place.
Her place was home. It was where I felt comfortable to be me. It was a place where the past couldn’t haunt me any longer.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had a nightmare. They didn’t happen often anyways, as I knew the past couldn’t be changed. Maybe it's just from the lucky teddy bear that I slept with every night.
So much had changed. Not just in this room – my room. But in my life.
Often, I’d sit and remember the old me. The boy who was scared of anything that raised their voice, or made loud noises. The sad boy who had no hope of living any sort of life.
The sad, lost boy was still a part of me, though. He always would be. There were moments when the tears came without a warning. It didn’t happen as often as before, but it was enough that Dawn knew to not make a big deal out of it. Those times, it usually was because I was tired and overwhelmed. Or frustrated. But still, they annoyed me.
Sometimes, at those moments, I wanted nothing more than to crawl into Dawn’s lap like a young kid and let the world fade away while she wiped the tears away.
Although, I never did that. Instead, I’d do my best to ignore them, and go about my day. Then at night, I’d hug the stuffed bear that Jasper had gotten me to my chest and cry myself to sleep, pretending that the stuffed animal hugged me back.
Shutting the lid of the computer, which was yet another gift from Dawn that I didn’t need but enjoyed more than I thought I would, I pushed the chair back. Standing, my back popped in a few places from being hunched over for way too many hours.
Giving the clock one more glance, I had about an hour before Dawn would be home.Which was more than enough time to figure out what to make for dinner.
These days, I cooked dinner on the days she worked, and on the days she had off, she cooked.
Ienjoyedcooking. I made enough to give Mrs. Lee and Jasper some, too. Sometimes Trace was there too, and there was usually plenty for the three of them. But he was back to school and living with his parents so he wasn’t there often. Which was okay with me.
