“You can sit on the porch.”
Yeah, no thanks. The cold breeze that wafted once in a while through the covered portion wasn’t going to help the soreness that was inside of me.
Resigned to the fact that I was stuck inside for the entire day, I shuffled towards the island where Dawn was mixing something in a metal bowl. Music was on low from the small radio she kept in the corner.
“Wanna help?”
I shrugged when Dawn’s eyes met my own.
Over the past few days, even weeks, she’d been offering to let me help her more and more with cooking or baking. The cooking partwasn’t as fun as making cookies and cakes. Even though too much sugar didn’t agree with me, I enjoyed helping. It gave my hands something to do.
“Here. You can keep stirring while I dig out a pan.” She pushed the bowl towards me. When I started to stir the red mixture, Dawn moved around the kitchen like always. Pulling out pans from one place, only to bounce to the other side of the counter to grab something else.
I wondered, not for the first time, why she didn’t just get everything out before starting.
“So, I have a question for ya,” Dawn continued after a few minutes after having me pour the red mix into a cake pan. “I like to kinda plan ahead, when I can. I want to mentally make a list of what I need to do, or what appointment I need to make for you. Either tomorrow, or years later.”
I blinked at her, waiting. It didn’t take her too long to get to the actual question.
“Can you talk? Or is it just that you prefer not to? I don’t care either way, nor will I ever care one way or another. I just want to make sure I have the support lined up for you where it needs to be in the long run.”
That was a hard question to answer.
Could I talk?I’d gone so long without speaking a single word. I couldn’t remember the last time I even made a noise.
All I could do was lift a shoulder, because I really didn’t know.
“Do you want to talk? I know it could be just a mental thing, and considering everything you’ve been through, I won’t hold it against you to not want to. But I’m sure there’s doctors out there that could give us both some answers on it. Of course, we’d bring it up to Dr. Shaw first. She may have some insights that I haven’t found yet.”
I lifted both shoulders this time. I didn’t want to tell her flat out I didn’t want to. Right now, I really had no reason to talk, even if I wanted to. Writing things down worked well enough for me. Plus, who even knew if my voice would work. Not just because I’ve gone so long not uttering a single syllable, but from the injury I know I suffered years ago.
Before I knew what was happening, my hand gently rubbed against my neck where my voice box was. I could still feel the fathom pain of a tight grip against my skin, squeezing the muscle and little bones into a death grip. All because I couldn’t stop crying.
My voice may have been forced to no longer work, but it did nothing to stop the tears I still shed today. It wasn’t something I’d ever be able to control.
“Someone hurt you, didn’t they?”
I dropped my hand as her gaze flickered to where I had been rubbing my neck. Her smile turned a bit sad for a moment before she masked her thoughts.
“I’m assuming some sort of ultrasound and other tests would need to be done to know about any damage. But that’s only if you want to try. I won’t push. But it is something that needs to be brought up with Dr. Shaw.” She paused long enough to put the dish into the oven.“Speaking of her. She’ll be doing a bit of the pre-testing to know where you are at in school. That part I’m not sure where to start and any of the homeschool programs I’ve looked into need some sort of educational background from you to join. Which we don’t have, given the circumstances.”
I huffed a breath.
“Dr. Shaw is more than qualified to do it, and it seems like she’s a good fit for you.”
I guess going for a little over two months to the same person counted as agood fit. I still wasn’t sure what was expected of me there, other than to answer some things with greater detail. But even then, nothing went that deep. But that didn’t mean I was looking forward to going to school. Even if it was homeschooled or with a lot of other kids my age.
Dawn shook her head, a smile gracing her lips like she could read my mind. Actually, I was pretty sure she could do just that.
It was almost scary in a way.
“There are moments where you appear so much younger than you are, but then there’s times when you are fifteen years old, if not older. It’s strange to see, but yet refreshing.”
I had no idea what she meant. Men had told me many times that I appeared younger than I looked, which is what they were attracted to.
“Don’t give me that look,” she squinted her eyes and pointed a single finger my way. I widened my eyes, not sure what look I had given her. “Oh, Koda.”
Once more, I was confused. I may be an open book, but Dawn wasn’t making it any easier on me.
