I envied her right at that moment. To not be afraid of what was around the corner, notcaring what others could possibly think of her, and to just speak so freely.
Sighing, I leaned my head back as thoughts swam forward. I thought I had been doing so good at keeping them all at bay by just living in the moment. But of course, that wasn’t going to last. I knew that, but I could still hope.
The moments of cold hands touching me caused me to shiver and my breath to hitch. Today, overall, hadn’t been bad, considering everything. No one touched me that I didn’t want. No one told me how much of a baby I was.
Actually, since being with Dawn, not a single person had spat words of hate towards me. I kept waiting, sure it’d happen. Not by Dawn, though. No. She was too kind to utter anything mean to anyone.
But the damage was already done. I’d never be able to be free mentally. It was hard enough to wrap my mind around the fact that I was safe. I was in a place where I’d never have to serve another man again.
That second part was hard to believe, too. My time with Dawn would come to an end. I’d mess up too many times. Even the nicest of people could only deal with so much.
I didn’t think she’d send me back to where I came from, though. But people did change. I’ve seen it more than once.
Being born to a set of people who would rather do drugs than care for me had been bad enough. Now, no other family but one person wanted to try to get to know me. Did they even try? Did they know I was here with Dawn? Had she talked to them?
So many questions I couldn’t ask. I didn’t want to know the answers, yet my heart said otherwise.
I didn’t think knowing would help me any. All it’d do would prove to me how awful the world is.
Wiping away tears again from my cheeks, I turned my gaze to the front entrance of the store, watching and waiting for Dawn.
Thankfully, by the time I got the tears under control, she was coming out of the door, carrying a bag in one hand. The cell phone store’s logo was on the front, big and bold.
Moments later, Dawn was back in the car, all but putting the bag into my lap.
I sort of held it like it would bite me as she got into the car, turning towards me as much as she could in the small area.
“It’s for you. Happy birthday, Koda.”
I squinted. I didn’t have birthdays. Nor did I ever get things on them, unless you counted a mouthful of sperm.
“Open it.” She encouraged me. When I still didn’t move, blinking and a bit dazed, Dawnreached in and grabbed one of the smaller boxes that was inside the bag. “It’s yours.”
Slowly, I reached out, taking the heavier small box from her. With two hands, I opened the lid, finding a shiny phone staring up at me.
“I hate the idea of leaving you at home without a way to contact me,” she explained. “My number is already programmed. All I ask is please don't create any social media accounts with your real name or location. And no posting pictures of yourself, or looking up porn.”
Well, that wasn’t going to happen. I’d follow those orders easily enough, because I had no inkling to do any of that. Ever. Plus, I was technically under what the police officer said, was a witness protection thing. It was more my safety that no one found me. Which, only my last name had been changed but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t like I knew it all that well anyhow.
“And then this.” Dawn pulled out the other box. It was bigger, and more like a square than the phone box had come in.
Like before, I slowly opened it after setting the phone down gently under my leg, afraid it was going to fall.
Inside the second box was something that was like a phone, but different. I’d seen them sometimes, but wasn’t all that familiar with the item.
“A tablet. It’s so you can read, if you want. Or find games to play. Or watch something. Bigger screen and all that. Plus, it’ll be good to do some homeschool stuff.”
I looked at her quickly, confused.
“I don’t think you’d like public school. At least not right away. You can learn a bunch of stuff on the internet these days. And I think getting used to new changes slowly would be better.”
It took a moment for the shock to pass, then the tears started once more.
Even if I could get my words to work, I wouldn’t know what to say.
“They are yours, Koda. Wherever you go in life, those two things are yours and yours alone. Unless I feel like you are getting into something you shouldn’t with reading or researching or talking to strangers online. Then, I’ll have to step in, but I don’t foresee any of that happening right now. If ever.”
Me talking to strangers? That alone was laughable. I didn’t even talk to Dawn, so how the heck would I talk to someone I didn’t know.
