The bed behind me dipped as someone sat down. I refused to believe any of this was real, not with the pain radiating with each breath I took.
“Take a breath, boy.” The words were spoken with a hand touching my back gently before he went in circles in an attempt to calm me down.
I didn’t want to, but my body did as it was told anyhow. It was only then that I figured out I had been holding my breath. Light flashed behind my eyes as I breathed in as deeply as I dared.
Pain flared, and I couldn’t stop the cry that forced its way out of my throat on my next breath. Myhands clutched against the blanket that was pressing against my chest.
“Good boy.” The hand traveled to my neck, holding me almost too lightly. I wanted that hand to be rougher; I wanted it to pull me entirely into the land of the living.
I swallowed, letting my body relax back against the bed that was soft and clean and definitely not the one I didn’t want to use at a house I didn’t want to be in.
Slowly, I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was mostly a comforter blocking my sight. The soft colors soothed the rest of the panic away.
I knew this bed. But it couldn’t be real.
As the pain turned a bit duller, my mind let me remember flashes of what happened. Sir was holding me. April was giving me something. Me freaking out when too many people were in the room, wanting answers I couldn’t give myself.
A whine rumbled in my chest as the hand left my skin. I wanted to cry. I tried to turn over and proclaim my willingness to serve him. But my body didn’t move. It knew the pain that would wash allthoughts away if I did more than stay right where I was.
“It’s okay, boy.” Sir shushed me. “You are to stay right where you are.”
That was an easy command to follow. The thought of moving more than breathing made everything hurt.
Why did it have to hurt so freaking bad? The things men did to me before seemed like it was nothing compared to this.
Or maybe, I was just becoming weak. Perhaps it was time to put me down like a dog once and for all.
Tears fell, soaking the pillow beneath my head. I tried to keep my breathing as even as possible, but even that still stirred the pain in my chest.
As the minutes ticked by, the throbbing grew worse, yet it wasn’t. The pain radiated from one section, moving up and out as if it were a fire trying to consume me.
The world needed to shut off again. It needed to let me go.
“It’ll all be okay.” The soft voice said. Then, an even more delicate touch traced my arm that waswithin reach. It was featherlight, barely there, but there all the same. “Allister says so.”
Slowly, I moved my head enough I could peek over the mountain of blanket I had tucked against me. With one eye free, I wasn’t sure what to make of the person. Boy? I didn’t know what he was to Sir, but apparently, whoever he was, he wasn’t afraid to speak freely for the most part.
“Hi.” He lifted one side of his lips in a tiny smile. While his brown eyes were circled with dark rings, they were friendly.
How old was this one?
I just blinked, tears still falling.
“Please stop crying.” He was undoubtedly a brave one not just to tell me that but also to wipe away some of the tears from my face. His own eyes clouded in unshed tears.
Instead of saying anything, I shut my eyes. Maybe if I shut out the world, everything would disappear, along with me.
Something cold and wet was smeared in a small area on my upper arm before a pinch. I didn’tjerk, didn’t do anything but lay there as the cold liquid was pressed into me.
Great. Drugs. Just what I needed on top of it all.
More tears fell. I didn’t want to be of service right now. I wanted to go back to sleep. I wanted to run and hide. I’d liked it if Sir to tell me that the punishment was over with and all was forgiven.
“The pain will fade in just a few seconds,” Sir spoke, but he seemed so far away as my limbs started tingling. “Asher? Could you go get a bath started? On the warmer side, please.”
“Sure.” The new boy answered before he gently moved off the bed. Almost instantly, I wanted him back. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to be used, but I also didn’t wish Sir to use another boy instead of me.
Slowly, with way too much effort, I rolled over onto my back. My eyes opened and then almost closed again. The pain was only a dull ache that was in tune with my thumping heartbeat.
