“Right. I know. I just....the idea of having you always with me is nice. I don’t wanna lose you.”
“I’ll always be your friend, Noah. Always and forever. That will never fade. It won’t matter how far away you move, or what type of relationship you’ll find yourself in. I’ll be here, pushing you to enjoy life the way you always should.”
“Okay,” Noah sighed. He wasn’t too pleased about that, but that was all I could offer. “Beckett seems like he can give you everything you would want or need.”
“Yeah.” Noah leaned into me more. “He doesn’t care how little I’d go. And he’s happy to explore with me. And he’s really good-looking.”
“Oh? I hadn’t noticed that.” Who the heck was I kidding? I had noticed. And it messed with my head and desires more than anything else lately.
“You’re kidding, right?” Noah moved to face me quickly, almost falling off the couch in the process.
“He’s not what I need, so why would I pay attention to what he looked like?”
“He likes ropes, and some roughness, and...and....other stuff.”
“Just because a man likes those doesn’t mean he wants it with just anyone. You know that, sweetheart. I’m complicated. I don’t even know what all I want. But I know Beckett won’t be able to explore with me.” Not as long as Noah was in the mix. And I’d never go in between them. “I’ll find someone when the time is right.”
“If you say so.”
I did say so, but Noah laid down, putting his head on my lap. “He gave me some sites I should read on. Like blogs. Maybe he’d send you some, too. To help you figure out what you like.”
I know what I like, I thought. Out loud, “I’m content to be an onlooker for now.”
My heart cracked even more as I ran a hand through Noah’s strands of hair.
Chapter 29
Things went back to normal. Or at least what normal was for me. Work was the same as always. The same people I created drinks for. The same thing every single time I worked. Predictable. Just like I needed.
My world had been rattled enough.
Knowing what to expect was better. It settled my mind.
I tried to stay out of whatever was happening between Noah and Beckett. I knew they texted often. I didn’t ask what they talked about. It was better to not know. I was safer. So was my heart.
I picked up more shifts where I could, hoping that with me being anywhere but at home more often, Noah would get the hint and hang out with Beckett more. The more time the two could spend time together, the better.
I didn’t want Asher to leave me alone, but at the same time, I wanted him to explore his ideas somewhere that wasn’t where we lived.
Thankfully, Becket hadn’t come back over to be with Noah. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take it if he did. Which was the main reason why I picked up so many extra shifts.
Speaking of which, I finished wiping down the counter, ready for the next rush of customers to come in at any moment. Although, for a Thursday, I didn’t expect much of a crowd at the bar area. The crowd would be across the room, separating me from them with a half-glass wall. I’d get to look on, but not join.
I wasn’t sure whose idea it was to host the munchie here of all places this time. It was known that they changed the day of the week so other people could come at different times. It was smart, giving different options for different groups.
I could have easily taken the day off to join too, but that’d put me into the mix with Beckett. I only knew he’d be here today because Noah mentioned he couldn’t take the day off to join since the animal shelter was getting a bunch of small kittens that he wanted to help monitor.
I was better off staying behind the bar, where I could see and observe. Plus, today was going to suck either way. I hated what this day was, and nothing was going to change it.
The first few people for the munchie came in shortly after the tables were set up by Kellie and another waiter that I had yet to be name-based with.
Forcing myself to tear my gaze away, I checked to make sure that everything was stalked. I knew it was, but it was just a place to busy myself with.
“Hello, darlin’.” I turned my heart in my throat, at the greeting.
My eyes met his before I could look anywhere else. His gaze was light and hopeful, which was the main reason why I didn’t want to come face-to-face with him. It was bad enough that Noah gushed over him.
Beckett was good-looking, and I almost hated him for that.
