I took a deep breath, willing the ugly emotions to stay down.
Noah deserved to be happy. And Beckett seemed like a halfway decent man. Plus, that would mean that Oscar was probably around here somewhere, too. I could trust them. I’d have to.
Even if I hated it.
Chapter 25
I wasn’t sure how many times in a few minutes I could sigh. The few looks I got didn’t last long. It was pretty clear that I wanted nothing to do with anyone. Or maybe some of the people thought I was just invisible and didn’t really see me. That was always the best route to believe in. Then, I could keep pretending that I actually wanted to be here.
After a few more minutes, I decided I had had enough. Noah didn’t need me in here waiting on him. I could wait outside in the comfort of my own car.
I slipped from the booth and stuck to the shadows where I blended in all too well, making my way towards the playroom. It was too easy to ignore the few couples who were all but grinding up against each other. Dark corners were good for more than one thing.
Turning down the hallway, the room was easy to find. A huge door let almost a too-bright light float out. The flooring changed from some sort of rubbery, non-slippery material to a thick plush carpet.
Almost in the middle of the room was a table that was low to the floor, pillows tossed about that were to be used as seating, this was where I found Noah. And in turn, Beckett. The latter had his back towards the door, his attention fully on my best friend who chatted away while coloring.
My heart broke a bit.
Noah hadn’t been able to just sit and be who he was for a while. Not even in the time he’d been living with me.
Had I failed Noah without even knowing it?
Not wanting to dwell on that thought, knowing that alone would make it even more difficult to leave this place, and him, I walked closer to him.
Noah’s face broke into a grin as he saw me. “Ashie!”
“Hey, sweetheart.” I ignored Beckett, even though I knew he was looking at me. I knelt on the floor, also ignoring the fact that I wanted to kneel for a dom in a sick and twisted way. “Looks like you’re having fun.”
“I am.” He turned back to his coloring, talking too fast for me to keep up as my heart beat heavily in my chest. His words went in one ear and out the other. My brain knew he was happy, content even.
Before I knew what was happening, Noah all but threw his body against mine, causing me to fall a bit sideways. My arms went around him willingly. They always would. Since he was in my hold, I couldn’t stop myself from pressing a kiss to the top of his head before he pulled back, going right back to where he had been moments before.
“Wanna color, too?” He pushed a handful of markers closer to me, hopeful I’d join in.
“Next time.” I paused, trying to word what I needed to say in a way that wouldn’t upset him. “I’m going to wait in the car for you. You can stay as long as you like.”
“Oh.” Noah’s shoulders dropped. “People?”
“Yeah, too much for me. But you stay, okay? Have fun with...Beckett. He’ll help you find our car when you’re ready to leave.”
“The light blue bug. Yes, Noah’s told me all about it, and apparently, it’ll be super easy to find since it’s the same color as his eyes.”
Well, not quite, but close. It wasn’t my fault it happened to be that color.
I turned a bit to face Beckett, who was sitting on the floor like it was normal to do so. His eyes were lighter, but knowing. I quickly turned my gaze back to Noah, knowing he was safer.
“Color a picture for our fridge, okay?”
Noah nodded, going right back to coloring.
“I’ll make sure he gets to you safely unless you’d like to stay in here. It’s quiet tonight.” Beckett’s words were low.
“I’ll be fine.” I’d have to be. At least until I got back home. Then, maybe if Noah passed out quickly enough, I could let the panic set in.
“Oscar is out there if you need someone...”
“I’m fine,” I repeated, standing. The lie was easy, even though it made me feel even worse. “See you after bit, sweetheart.” I brushed a hand through the top of Noah’s hair.
