“But-“
“Go.” My word was quiet, but full of venom at the same time.
Noah’s shoulders slumped, and he slowly backed away with his hands held up in surrender. The look he gave me hurt me. My heart stuttered in his place.
“Wait.” I huffed, growing at myself for my stupidity and inside feelings. “Stay.”
“Really?” His hands slapped on his legs. “You sure? I’ll go. I won’t bother ya.”
I didn’t bother to reply. Instead, I took a seat on the floor, leaning my head against the cool, rough wall. I closed my eyes, waiting to see what the boy would do.
After a full minute, his steps led him to a spot right next to me. Then, his body flopped right there, pressed up against mine.
“Really?” I squinted a single eye his way. There was plenty of room. He didn’t have to be right on top of me, did he?
He didn’t seem to be bothered one bit. Instead, he tilted his head to lay on my shoulder, like I was his best friend in the world. Then, he sniffed again.
“Sorry. I’ll...I’ll just be quiet, okay. I won’t talk. I won’t move. Or breathe.” He paused, holding his breath for a second before that didn’t work. “Okay, won’t hold my breath. I can’t do that again. But I’ll be quiet. Promise.”
His no-talking lasted for all of maybe three minutes. “Asher?” I didn’t bother to answer but sighed. “Never mind.”
“What, Noah?”
“I don’t wanna grow up.”
Okay, that was random. When I didn’t know what to say, he went on. “That’s why I had to come. Mom thinks I’m not...right. But I like toys. Coloring. Do we get to color here?”
I wanted to bang my head on the wall behind me. Instead, I breathed in deep.
“No one wants to be my friend. I know I’m weird. And the whole toy thing probably doesn’t help. Should I do what she wants me to? But then what am I to do? Legos are for adults, too. The boxes say so.”
“I’m not the right person to be asking that to.” That would be someone else's job to explain that whole thing. I didn’t think a seventeen-year-old should be the one to explain to Noah, or anyone else for that matter, that some adults did play with toys. Some also did questionable stuff that was better never to be spoken of.
“Will you be my friend, Asher?”
“No.” Did I really need to repeat what I already said?
“Okay.” Once again, Noah seemed to be dejected, but I really didn’t make friends. I was perfectly content to have what I currently had. There was no reason that needed to change.
“Can we pretend at least?”
“Why?” Why was he so persistent?
“So I don’t have to be lonely.” Noah shrugged against me. “Mr. Smith said you’d be a good friend.”
“Well, you need better friends who aren’t me.”
“Uh...the last ones may have tried to give me drugs. Then laughed because I coughed too hard and threw up all over the lunch table.”
What the hell?
I pulled away, which forced Noah to sit up. He gave me a look like he was just as confused as I was about the whole ordeal.
And Scarlett wonders why I don’t have friends at school. Besides the point that I suck at everything, but the teachers at least give me a passing grade. The school was another type of hell altogether.
“You need better friends, Noah.”
He just lifted a shoulder, like he didn’t know what to do to change that fact of his life.
