My life wasn’t my own.
Mr. S. owned me as much as the other boys. Whatever he wanted, went. That included down to what we wore, and why I was the only one in this room that had everybody's hair except for my head, lasered off.
I shivered, remembering how uncomfortable that had been. The buzzing would forever be seared into my brain, as would the cuffs that held me down so I didn’t move.
That had brought me to tears, which in turn turned Mr. S on something fierce. I wasn’t sure why, since so many of the others couldn’t shut those stupid waterworks off.
Seconds before the door opened, Erik had us all lined up, in a perfect row of perfect boys. I was at the back, knowing I’d have to be the one to give the few in front of me a push to get going.
I had long since lost the feelings of fear. I had nothing to lose. Either I’d die, be sold, or be returned back to this room. Nothing could get worse than what I’ve been through in my fifteen years of life, and nothing exactly surprised me anymore.
I knew Erik’s time here was coming to an end. Possibly mine, too, if seeing how young the ones brought in were lately.
I was okay with that. I was ready to die if that were to happen.
“We got this, boys.” Erik’s montre had started months ago. I wasn’t sure what made him think we could do anything but follow orders, but maybe it was more for himself. He might have known his days were numbered, too.
The door swung open, and we stayed in a straight line as we exited the room. Like I figured, I had to lightly push the boy in front of me to move. His entire body was shaking.
Even if I were the talkative type, I had no words to comfort the boy. Nothing I said would change the fact that he was here.
At least the new boys knew not to utter a single word, even if their tears didn’t stop.
A man that I assumed bathed in cigarettes stepped up beside me, eyeing me like he wasn’t sure what to do about what I was wearing. My cock was slightly hard, but I was thankful it went down halfway. Walking with a stiffy in the room was bad enough. I didn’t want these guards to get stupid ideas about me on top of everything.
None of the guards had touched me. Ever. Other than a hand to hold me in case I were to run. But they never wanted, or demanded, more of me. They didn’t want words or actions. Only for me to follow the orders given.
Well, except for this one guard here. He seemed to have things on his mind but never spoke them. Smokey, as I called him in my head, was one of the nicer ones here. The few times I had dared to meet his gaze, his dark eyes held pain. Like he was scared for me.
“Mr. S. will be pleased with you tonight,” he whispered slowly. I almost tripped over my feet as he addressed me. “He plans to share you.”
I kept my gaze forward, not wanting to respond.
It wouldn’t be the first time I was shared, nor the last.
“He wants to break you,” he went on, stepping just a tiny bit closer to me.
Little did Mr. S, or anyone else, know. I was already broken. There was no hope for me.
“He wants you to cry. To beg. He’ll share you tonight to see if he can succeed.”
Good try, I thought. Even so, it was possible to break me more. There was most likely something that he could promise me, to dangle over my head, only to rip it away at the last second. I didn’t know what that something could be, but for a man like Mr. S, I’m sure he knew of something.
I didn’t know that much about the man, as he wasn’t forthcoming about any of that. Nor did I want to know. But what I gathered, he was powerful. He had men who had men, who did things no human being should be able to do. There had been times when a man would come in, blood on his shirt, to tell Mr. S that a job was done.
There had been times when women would come in, with nothing but flimsy material covering their bits, and would rub against him like he was their god.
I found it all to be disgusting, but I kept my expressions blank, my words stuck in my head. Because, when those women came in, Mr. S didn’t use them. He used me in ways that no man ever should.
Just another thing I was more than used to.
I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not that the guard couldn’t tell me more as we went in a different direction than usual. Instead of going up, we went down. Each step was smooth and cold against the bottom of my feet. The farther we went, the more guards were stationed along walls and outside rooms.
My gut fell, knowing Erik was right. Tonight was different. Something was going on, and I wasn’t sure if all of us would survive.
If tonight was all about seeing how broken we’d come out on the other side, I wasn’t sure if any of us would be okay.
As I neared the last step, music began to pulse through the air. There was laughter, too. Which meant too many people, too many hands, and too many eyes.
