Well, he had me. All of me. And I didn’t need to say the words to know it was true.
“We should talk,” he groaned as he took a reluctant step back. “Even though I don’t really want to.”
Ugh!Why can’t we just continue cuddling? Maybe kiss some more?Unfortunately, I knew he was right. We needed to talk about everything that happened tonight. My only hope was that he didn’t get upset when he found out I was the one that had flogged him.
“I’m going to go change first, if that’s okay?”
“You don’t need to ask permission,” I chuckled, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of his lips before stepping back. “I’ll find a comfy spot on the couch while I wait.”
He didn’t say anything, but it wasn’t needed. Everything that needed to be said could be seen in his eyes. For the first time since I’d met Zeek in that small cell, I saw something that gave me hope that everything would be okay. I saw life.
My only hope was that it would last for years to come.
While Zeek made his way upstairs to change, I headed into the kitchen to grab a couple of sodas from the fridge before getting comfortable on the couch. Nervousness filled me as I wrung my hands together.
I was prepared to listen, ready for whatever this man had to tell me. However, just because I was ready, didn’t mean I wouldn’t be silently praying to a god I didn’t believe in that things would work out for us.
God, I hope things don’t come crashing down around me. I don’t think I could survive losing him,I thought to myself as Zeek descended the stairs and made his way into the living room.
To both my surprise and relief, the look in his brown eyes hadn’t changed. If anything, his cheeks appeared a tad bit redder. Then again, that could have been my eyes playing tricks on me based upon what I hoped to see.
Plopping down on the couch beside me, Zeek laid down and stretched out, using my lap as a pillow. Instantly, my hand made its way into his hair, causing him to hum in contentment as my fingers toyed with the brown locks.I bet if he were a cat, he’d be purring right about now,I thought, a smile playing at the corners of my mouth.
“It was you.” The three words were low, his eyes watching my reaction.
“Yes,” I muttered, averting my eyes. I knew there was no point in lying. Not to him. He would have seen through the lie, regardless.
“Why?”
My eyes shot to his, my fingers moving from his hair to his face, tracing invisible lines that weren’t there. “Why what?”
“Why did you do it? The flogging?”
“Did you enjoy it?” I countered, unsure how I’d respond if he said no.
He nodded. “Very much so. I’ve never felt…” He shook his head, as if searching for the words. “I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
“What did you feel?” I asked in curiosity, my voice softening even more.
“Alive. Horny. Content. Loved. All good things.” His eyes slipped closed. “The cage I wear down there ensures I don’t get hard. But God, Jude.” His eyes flashed open, letting me see the heat in his gaze. “I wanted to be. More than anything. I’ve never….”
“So, it was okay?”
“More than okay, baby.”
A smile spread across my lips before leaning over and pressing them against his. The angle was a bit awkward, but I didn’t give a crap. I needed him. After a moment, I pulled back. “I want to be what you need, Zeek. You said you needed that kind of relief, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I knew there was less chance of you turning me down if I didn’t tell you beforehand. Regardless, I would have figured something out. B–But how did you know it was me?”
“We’ve been in hell together. I can physically sense you in a room a mile away. It may have taken me a minute to figure shit out–my brain was a bit foggy afterward–but when I saw you with Eli––I knew. Besides, Mistress Destri would have never just let any newbie whip me like that.” He shuddered, recalling our session at the club. “That thing you did…wrapping it around my neck…you need to do that again sometime.”
“Anytime.”
“I know it’s probably going to ruin this moment, but there’s something else we need to discuss.” He sighed, pushing himself up to sit beside me. “I haven’t had sex since…well, I honestly have no fucking clue.” Zeek shook his head slightly before continuing. “Doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I’m clean. I get tested every six months. So, when we get to that stage, assuming you want things to get to that far, I’m c–clean.” The last word came out a stutter as he averted his eyes in embarrassment.
He could talk about being horny, but not about sex. What a strange man.
“Same here; I’m good.”
“Okay.” His face hardened, fighting against everything in him in an effort to avoid letting me see what he was thinking. Unfortunately for him, he failed miserably. I knew this man better than he’d ever let on.
