I inwardly groaned at how much he saw without my realizing it.Stupid brothers!
“It’s fine. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”
“Brother,” he warned, his tone serious. “You’re depressed. More so each day. Don’t make me tell mom that I saw you this way.” The threat of bringing our mom up to date on my well-being was a lost cause. And he knew it. Tonight, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything. I just wanted to forget everything and move on with my life.
“Then don’t,” I snapped.
“Dannie told me about the guy in the comic shop. Perhaps I could just drop by there instead.”
“Do whatever you want.” I turned my back to him before making my way to the opposite end of the bar. With any luck, he’d leave, and take his ideas with him.
Right this very minute, I didn’t care what he did as long as he left me alone to wallow in my own misery. I was so tired of everyone looking at me like I was a porcelain doll and would fall apart at any moment. It didn’t matter that it was true.
Unfortunately, by the time I’d finished serving the few customers that were at the bar and turned back in Theo’s direction, he was still there.
“Another?” I asked, trying to keep the annoyance from my voice as much as possible.
“Nah––I need to get going. Sophie is probably waiting up for me. Again.”
“Then why are you here?”
“You know why I’m here. Either man up and talk to the kid, or I will.”
“He’s not the issue!” The words were a hissed lie. Well, a partial lie.
“Hmm. If you say so, dear brother. But if that’s the case, maybe you should talk to Dannie about keeping things quiet. After all, he’s the one who told me all about how you ran into that person I tracked down for you. You didn’t even look through all the information I gave you, did you?”
My lips were pressed into a thin line. I wanted to tell Theo to go fuck off, but I knew it would do no good.
“Why must you always drag everything out unnecessarily? I swear, you need to have some sense knocked into you.”
“Can you just stay out of my life? It’s mine to deal with.”
“I was dragged into your life the day you asked me to track down your friend. Besides, you’re family and I care about what happens to you.” Without another word, he stood and turned to exit the bar.
Swinging my feet over the edge of the bed, I ran a rough hand over my face. The clock on the bedside table read just after two in the morning.
Once again, I’d had the same dream, which had been plaguing me for days on end. The feeling of helplessness as I watched Judah being forced from my life would forever be a part of me. That was just a given now. For as long as I lived I would never forget the look of defeat and acceptance on his face as he was dragged from our cell.
I knew I never wanted to lose him like that again, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to.
Judah and the rest of my family––I’d eventually lose them all because of my own doing. It was better off that way, too. They probably couldn’t see it now, but in the end, everyone would be happier without me. At least that way no one would have to worry about me or watch my every move.
I was done trying to be what everyone wanted me to be.
I was done fighting.
My last moments on this earth would be forgotten before my body even turned cold. I’d leave, and no one would even remember me.
With slow movements, I slipped my feet into the shoes I’d left by the end of my bed before making my way down the stairs and out of the house. Each step was taken as if on auto pilot, letting my mind remain blank as weariness and sorrow blanketed me in the darkness that would never leave me alone.
Judah
My entire body had been shaking uncontrollably since I’d been awoken by a call from an unknown number. For as long as I lived, I would never forget the words the caller spoke when I answered, his voice filled with both love and utter panic.
And for good reason, too.
While I had never met the man, in those few short minutes, I felt like I got a glimpse into the man that Theo, Zeek’s brother, was. If he was anything like Zeek, he was probably the type of person that every little boy admired. The one they all wanted to be.
