“I wasn’t dead,” Zeek snorted. “Mistress Destri can do all this to me too. Everything except draw blood. She won’t do that.” I wanted nothing more than to shake the life out of him.
Doesn’t he see how dangerous this is for his health?
“Fact is, the pain is what helps me. Some people like to do puzzles in order to relax. Others, prefer to read or take a long bath. Pain is my form of therapy and it works. Seeing a psychologist isn’t something I’ll ever do again. It was just a waste of my time and theirs.”
“Okay. But if you ever do something this stupid again….” I didn’t have to finish because he knew what I was going to say.
“If it happens again, we’ll revisit this topic. I got it, Kid.”
I shook my head knowing he was trying to get under my skin since I’d gotten under his.
Zeek fell silent while I continued to rub in the healing lotion, groaning when I’d hit a tender spot.
By the time I’d finished, I was barely holding it together as my own inner demons reared their ugly heads––demons that need not be shown to the entire world. Regardless of how hard I tried, there was nothing I could do to explain why I was responding to this man the way I was.
The only thing I knew was that I shouldn’t be. That much was obvious.
Ezekiel
Judah was inside talking to someone on the phone, so I slipped on a t-shirt and sat out back on the small porch to take in some fresh air. After a short nap I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in quite some time. No matter how much sleep I managed to get, I knew I would never get caught up on everything I’d missed over the past few years. But for the moment, I was better. Almost back to my normal, grumpy, sad self I’d been last week.
I wanted to think that was partly due to Judah keeping a watch over me, but I couldn’t be certain. And while I enjoyed his company, I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about him coming here and staying for four days.
Surely, he has someone waiting for him? So, why would he waste his time on me?I wondered. Before my thoughts could get too carried away, I heard the back door open. Glancing behind me, my shoulders fell in defeat.
“Afternoon, Ezekiel.”
Mistress Destri stood a couple of feet away from me, arms folded across her chest, just below her breasts. Like the last time I’d seen her, she was dressed in more relaxed attire. I had become so accustomed to seeing her in leather that it was still a bit strange to see her in regular clothes.
Standing silently, my gaze remained focused on my half-mowed lawn.
“You know, things would be so much easier if you’d do what was right for you.” Her soft, flat shoes padded across the patio until she stood directly in front of me. “We need to talk.”
“No, we don’t.” I kept my eyes focused behind her head, anger and disappointment I felt in myself rolling off of me in waves I was certain she could feel.
“You purposely went to someone else to find your release, and look at where that got you. You know better.”
I shrugged. At the time, I didn’t give a fuck. And the sad truth was that I still didn’t care. Even after everything I had been through.
“In our contract––”
“Which is void,” I interjected with a glare in her direction.
“In our contract it states that open communication is a requirement. It also states that if you were to ever use your safe word, we are to talk about it like two grown adults.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She sighed, as if I were a toddler that was on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum.
Another moment passed before she spoke, her words carefully thought out. “Judah was beside himself when he couldn’t reach you. You nearly gave him a heart attack.”
My heart hurt hearing that, something next to disappointment filling my chest. Despite that fact, I managed to keep my face blank. In truth, I deserved the pain. Out of everyone in my life, Judah was the last person I ever intended to hurt and knowing I had done just that nearly gutted me.
“What would have happened if I didn’t know where to find you? Or what to look for?”
“I’d have been just fine. Just like always.”
“Why are you so stubborn?” The muttered words didn’t require an answer from me. “What in the world were you thinking?”
“I was thinking about myself like everyone keeps telling me to do. Speaking of which, you can go now. Your services are no longer needed.” I waved a hand between us in a shooing motion.
