Oh shit!
The two of us remained silent for several minutes before Judah finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “You scared the crap out of me, Zeek.”
What he didn’t realize was that I hadn’t done it on purpose. It was a poor decision on my part. And sadly, it backfired.
“Never do that again.” Before I could say another word, he was pressed up against my chest. Instinctively, my arm wrapped around his tiny frame, breathing in his familiar scent. Just having him in my arms helped soothe any last remnants of the migraine. “Promise me you won’t be so stupid. You can’t do that again, Zeek. I can’t stand to think about what could…” his voice was filled with emotion as his words faded,
“I’ll try.” I knew I couldn’t make such a promise. Not when the possibility of me breaking it was so high.
“Zeek,” he pulled back, meeting my eyes. His eyes were watery and filled with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “You could have been seriously hurt. Or worse.”
“That’s the point.” The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them. I instantly regretted them the moment I saw the horror covering the kid’s face as he slowly backed away.
“Why?” His voice broke.
“I have issues, Kid.” It wasn’t a lie. I worked fucking hard to keep them buried deep under my skin, so no one knew just how deeply they ran. I just couldn’t understand why that wasn’t enough of a reason.
“We both do, Zeek.” His shoulders fell in defeat. “But I guess that’s where our similarities end, huh?”
What could he possibly mean by that? Of course, we were different. We’d both led different lives and had experienced different things.
“Zeek––it’s not normal to go in search of someone to hurt you when you can’t deal with the things you’re feeling.”
“So, what, am I just supposed to go off on myself? End it all?” I’ll admit, the idea had been popping up in the forefront of my mind more than I wanted to admit.
“No!” Judah all but shouted. “Perhaps you should think about seeing a therapist?” The last word was barely audible.
“Kid,” I sighed, carefully setting my mug on the counter. “I’ve already tried that route. It didn’t work for me.”
“Then…come to me instead. I’ll help you in any way that I can. I’ll do whatever you need me to do if it keeps that from happening again.”
I gave him a soft, sympathetic look. As much as I wish it were, that just wasn’t an option. “I’m sorry, Judah. I just can’t see you being able to do what needs to be done in order to keep my…yeah.”
“I can learn.” He perked up at the thought. “I’ll do anything I have to do.”
While I appreciated his concern and his willingness to help, there was no way in hell that I would ever allow him to do such a thing. The kid had already seen me at my lowest. More than once now. I couldn’t allow him to see any more of that side of me.
Judah
The water had just shut off from the shower on the second floor as I looked around the kitchen and found nothing else to wipe down for the umpteenth time. Allowing my head to drop to my chest, I let out a conflicted sigh.
I knew I needed to start thinking about calling someone for a ride back home, but I was torn. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Zeek in his current mental state. Granted, he was much better than when Mistress Destri and I first arrived. Still, I worried that he’d return to whoever had caused the damage to his back in the first place. Part of me didn’t want to believe he’d go back right away, but the other part of me wasn’t one hundred percent sure. Not after what he’d said earlier.
Zeek’s footsteps padding down the stairs soon chased away my thoughts. When his eyes met mine, I could see that some of the darkness that plagued him earlier had disappeared.
“You’re still here,” he muttered, running a hand through his slightly dripping hair.
“Is that okay?”Had he wanted me to leave?I thought in sadness.
“Yeah….” The word hung in the air between us. He looked as though he had something more to say, but he turned and walked toward the living room instead. “Come on, Kid,” he called over his shoulder, taking a heavy seat on the couch.
“I’m not a kid,” I grumbled, following close behind him. Taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, I nervously wrung my hands together, unsure what to do or how to act now that he was feeling more himself.
“Hmmm.”
“I don’t want to push, but––” I stopped, unsure how to say what I wanted to say.
“You can ask whatever you want,” Zeek yawned. “I won’t be upset. Just don’t take offense if I don’t answer.”
