I thought maybe having Judah back in my life would ease some of my fears, but it seemed to only make things worse. Now, within hours of seeing him, things had worsened far beyond what I could have ever expected. I couldn’t even fucking breathe without my chest feeling tight.
And there was no way in hell I would let anyone know just how much I was willing to give up. Most of the time I found it easy to pretend to be fine in front of certain people. But right now, I didn’t need to. For the next hour, I could be as miserable as I wanted while this man dished out the pain I so desperately craved.
I was an addict, and I was going to get my next fix one way or another.
The only warning I had before the first blow was the sound of a whip whistling through the air. By that sound alone, I knew to brace myself for the pain. Unfortunately, it was already too late, the tail of the leather pieces cutting across my spine. Instinctively, my body jolted, pulling away from the item that had inflicted the pain.
Taking a deep breath, I grit my teeth and reveled in the sting as the next blow landed across my back. This time, I was ready. While the pain wasn’t nearly as bad as the first blow, it still stung.
This is the pain I need to function. If only other people would understand that.
Mistress Destri, for all she’d done for me, would never dive into what Itrulyneeded. Instead, she was always having to follow her own rules. Not to mention, the club’s.
But I wasn’t at the club anymore. Here, I could finally get what I’d sought out for so long.
The next several strikes were just as stinging as the first, each causing my breath to exit my lungs like a tidal wave. Clenching my teeth, I closed my eyes tightly as sweat from the pained relief dripped from my face.
And then, just like that, it was gone.
No, I need more,I silently cried as I listened for any indication of what was coming next.
Form behind me, I could hear Sir moving about the room. It wasn’t until the first blow that I realized he’d switched from a whip to a cane.
One after the other, my body arched into each blow like a silent plea for more, each strike marking my skin and leaving lasting bruises.
“I love this one,” I heard the Dom mutter as he swapped his toy of choice. I didn’t look, but the way he spoke about the next object of his fascination sent a shiver down my spine.
That probably should have been my first clue.
Holding my breath, I waited for the man to begin again. My back was stinging and I wasn’t sure how much more I’d be able to take. But until then, I had every intention of getting everything I needed out of this session.
I grunted out a yell from deep within my chest when a spiked object landed across the center of my back. Seeing my response, Sir let out a pleased sound that resembled part laugh and part growl. Without warning, the next blow bit into the already tender flesh of my back. This time, however, I could feel the ends as they tore into my skin.
Tears leaked from the corner of my eyes as another blow was unleashed. This time, in a different spot. By the fourth hit, I could no longer take any more.
“Red,” I choked, my voice hoarse. Still, I knew Sir had heard it all the same.
“Fine,” he huffed out in disappointment as the item fell to the floor. “I must say, you do bleed nicely though.”
Fuck him!
Blood had never even been mentioned and I knew that no sane Dom would ever cross that line without at least having a discussion on the subject.
“Untie me!” I seethed.
“Not with that attitude.” Before I could pull against the ropes, Sir Dickhead picked the same tool from the floor and hit me again. This time, striking a more tender area.
“Fuck!” I shouted as I pulled at my bindings. Luckily for me, he wasn’t the best rope Dom.
It took me a full minute to break myself free of the bindings, and by the time I turned around, his eyes were wide with fake remorse.
I glared at him as I grabbed my shirt, threw it over my head and stormed toward the hotel room’s door. “Don’t you ever message me again! You’re lucky I’m not calling the cops on you! Dick!”
Before he could say anything else, I slammed the door in his face.
I didn’t even take the time to buckle my seatbelt before tearing out of the parking lot, tires squealing and all. I didn’t even take a full breath until I was on the mostly empty highway, headed back home. It was then that the pain hit me full force.
My entire back was on fire, pain searing from the inside out as tears clouded my vision. Logically, I knew I should stop and pull over. But I also knew that if I did that, the emotions would take me fully under. And the last thing I needed to do was make an idiot of myself in public where someone would no doubt stop and ask me if I was okay.
