“Hi,” I muttered, thankful my voice didn’t squeak. Unfortunately, I now had no clue what to say.
“I forgot to ask earlier; how often do you work?” His voice was lower and was quickly followed by a yawn.
“Five days a week. I have every Sunday and Monday off.” They were the only two days the store was closed. But even then, if Nick needed help, I went in without question. It helped to keep my hands busy. My mind, on the other hand, it didn’t help that much.
“Wednesdays are my shorter days. I have therapy that day. Same on Monday. My therapist doesn’t think I should do more than two days a week. Oh––do you mind if I tell her about you––my therapist, I mean? Like that we saw each other? If not, I completely understand. I just…I just kind of tell her everything. You know, since that’s what she does for a living. I’m sure I annoy her, but it seems to help having someone to talk to.”
“Breathe, Kid,” Zeek finally managed when I stopped to take a breath. He sounded amused, and I wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good thing or not. “To answer your question…no, I don’t mind if you talk about me. Whatever helps you, I want you to do it.”
“Today helped.” A blush instantly flooded my cheeks. It was a good thing he couldn’t actually see me. “I mean…seeing you helped. I didn’t know if you ever really wanted to see me again after everything we’d gone through. I certainly wouldn’t blame you. I know I shouldn’t assume––but, yeah––I’ll shut up now.”
This time, his low laugh came through the phone. It was something I’d heard a few times when I rambled while we were held captive in that cold cell, rotting away. When I asked him about it, he told me he found me amusing. I never really thought he meant it, since we were kinda stuck with one another.
“I may have been looking for you,” he admitted, his voice low. “The truth is that I was too chicken shit to do anything about it.” I could almost picture him running a hand through his hair. “So, yes, the two of us running into each other today was a good thing.”
I closed my eyes and let out a silent sigh of relief.Thank goodness he didn’t think it was awkward.
“Judah?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t ever have to shut up around me. Not ever.”
Ezekiel
Electronics and technology were a wonderful thing these days. Though, sometimes, it was my own personal downfall. I could practically hear my brother yelling at me for my stupidity; something about being kidnapped again because of some simple app where strangers could meet other strangers. In the dead of night, no less. Fact was I knew what I needed. I craved it like a drug, desperate for my next hit. No matter how much I tried to ignore it, the all-consuming need outweighed all the risks.
I couldn’t go to Mistress Destri because I knew she’d want answers. Plus, I was still ignoring her, so it wasn’t exactly an option anyway. Sure, my search would have been made easier if I would have just asked her for suggestions on who to go to, but I didn’t want to deal with all the questions.
Instead, I did my own research and eventually found an app that claimed to have everything I was looking for. After downloading it, I entered my info and signed up. It was all way too easy for what I was after. Which, had I been thinking more clearly, should have been my first red flag. Sadly, the only thing I could think about at the moment was my own personal needs.
Since I’d gotten home from my parents’ house, my anxiety had built faster than a raging thunderstorm. The clouds rolled over my mind, giving me tunnel vision, my chest tight as the electricity gained power.
My parents meant well, but I could only take so much. I could only take so much of life as a whole.
Rubbing my chest absentmindedly, I made plans to meet with the man who vowed to give me what I needed at a downtown hotel. It wasn’t exactly how I would have preferred to go about things, but I knew it was the best I could get on such short notice.
I didn’t want romance.
I didn’t want names or rules.
I just wanted relief.
That was all I ever wanted…what Ineeded.
When Judah called, I’ll admit I was a bit surprised. I figured he wouldn’t want anything to do with me once he knew I didn’t have my shit together. But, as luck would have it, he was still the same person that had been trapped in a cell with me––genuine, smart, and a rambler. And I couldn’t have been happier about that fact.
Just listening to him speak, his words barely making it out smoothly before he continued on to something else, made me smile. Having him on the phone and hearing his innocent voice helped to loosen my thick chest. I knew it wasn’t logical, but I was tempted to keep him on the line the entire evening.
The sad truth was I couldn’t depend on him. Even if I could, it never bode well for anyone to depend on another person. Especially someone as damaged as me. I’d only drag them down with me, or they’d end up disappointed in me. And neither option was something I was willing to risk when it came to Judah.
Mistress Destri was a perfect example. Her disappointment in me was clear. All because––well, I wasn’t even entirely sure. But I also wasn’t giving her the opportunity to explain. I’d said the only word that was meant to stop everything and she still refused to give up. She needed to accept that I was no longer her problem. I had.
“You should get some sleep, Judah,” I muttered, hearing his tiny voice yawn on the other end of the phone. With any luck, he’d been sleeping better than I did most nights.
“Yeah. But I need to finish the kitchen first.”
“What are you doing?”
