Shock. Fear. Arousal. Shame. Hope. Jealousy.
I only watched for a minute, but that was more than enough before I made my way back inside as quietly as I possibly could. I gritted my teeth as the door clicked shut behind me.
I held my breath for a moment, and only when neither of them came rushing after me did I let it out.
I made it to my room where Enzo and sat on the bed, my back to the headboard, arms wrapped around me legs loosely.
Finally settling on the known numbness I had always been used to, I leaned my head all the way back against the wall.
Sometimes, it was easier to not feel than to deal with the feelings that wreaked havoc inside of me.
Like right now.
If only my thoughts would shut off, too.
Closing my eyes, all I could see was Ryker pinning Enzo against the side of the porch.
There had been so many times when Enzo had been the one forced to endure pain and torture. He was the one pinned up against the wall, hands and feet chained.
Eventually, Enzo appeared in the room. I kept my eyes closed, breathing in and out. Maybe if I ignored him, he’d ignore me. We could both just ignore the huge elephant that was now in the room.
No such luck.
I peeked my eyes open as he called my name. Once I spotted him standing at the end of the bed, arms down by his sides, hair a mess, I let my eyes travel him over from head to toe.
There wasn’t any blood. No bruises that I could see. No torn clothes.
So often, he had been in front of me, pretending to be perfectly fine while nearly passing out because Steven, or another man, had taken the belt one too many times to him.
“I’m fine,” he said after a moment. “I promise.”
“You’ve said that before.”
I turned my eyes away from him.
I concentrated on the numbness that was slowly seeping away. In return, panic, worry and something else I didn’t want to name were appearing way too quickly.
“See?” Enzo didn’t hesitate to strip his shirt over his head. Then, slowly, he turned in a circle.
Other than a red mark going up and down his spine, there were no new bruises. No cuts. No blood.
My eyes focused on the cut I had given him. It was a tad lighter than the rest of his skin, but no longer red. A straight, nice clean cut thanks to the knife I had been forced to use.
I lifted my eyes back to his, at a loss for words.
Enzo never needed words to know what I was thinking.
In a blink, he sat beside me, pulling me to his side with a strong arm. I never fought him, and I wasn't going to start now.
“He didn’t hurt me, baby.” The whispered words didn’t help soothe me. It wasn’t the fact that Enzo could have been hurt. It was… well, something I couldn’t put into words.
When I stayed quiet, just breathing and trying to wrap my head around what happened, Enzo spoke again.
“I think I hurt Ryker, though. Not that I meant to...” He trailed off. At those words, I lifted my head. “We…uh…I…got carried away?”
I moved out of his hold, more confused now. Enzo shifted, one hand pulling the front of his pants as if it bothered him.
“I need to change.” With that, he scooted off the bed. He didn’t bother to hide himself as he dropped his pants where he stood before scooping them up and carrying them to the bathroom.
