“He feels connected to me because I was there to lift him up when he needed it. I care about him.”
“Then tell him to stop going to you.” Enzo’s words were quiet but filled with loss.
“That I can’t do. I won’t turn someone away from needing comfort. I was pushed away as a kid. I don’t want to make someone else feel like they aren't worthy.”
“Emery’s mine.” It was a big declaration in a small voice.
“And you are his. I won’t stand between the two of you. But what I can be is both of your friends. Everyone needs someone they can talk to, who won’t judge. Someone to hug you when you need a simple, caring touch.”
I moved to sit on the other end of the couch, still keeping my distance.
“I want to care about you as much, but you make it a tad hard. I won’t push, but you need to see that I’m here for you.Bothof you matter, Enzo.”
To each other, more than to me. That part, I kept to myself.
“You love him.”
Those three words took me by surprise. “In a way, yes. It’s hard to not form a bond when I was what he needed. He’s sweet, kind and loving in return.”
“I’m not loveable.” Enzo blinked, letting one tear fall before he harshly brushed it away.
“Hey now.” My heart cracked even wider for this man. I scooted closer to him, laying a hand gently on his shoulder, letting him have room to move away from me if he wanted. I spoke softly. “Emery loves you to the moon and back. Twenty times over. You are his entire world. You can’t say you aren't lovable. Plus, I’ve seen the way you look at him, and him at you. The two of you are entwined in ways I could never explain.”
“Do you worry I’ll take your spot in his life?” I paused. When I didn’t get any movement but a deep breath from Enzo, I went on. “I couldn’t possibly steal that spot in his heart. Ever. And I don’t want to try.”
Enzo sniffed but didn’t move away from my hand.
“I promise, Enzo. I want nothing but happiness for the both of you. You both getting to a spot in your life where you feel free and comfortable is the most important thing to me. I want to see you succeed, in whatever you do.
“After everything you’ve been forced to endure, you deserve to be happy. To have a life worthy of living. Why would I ever want to stand in the way of that?”
“Steven hated me. My parents couldn’t stand me. It’s...normal for everyone to just look over me and take what’s mine.” Finally, he gaze met me. Tears were barely hanging on from falling.
“I’m not like most people. I don’t care what others have done to you. Just know that I will never do the same as others have done to make you hate the world so much. People like that should rot in hell.”
Enzo sniffed as the wave of tears fell down his cheeks.
“I don’t know how….” He couldn’t finish speaking as a sob bubbled forth.
I didn’t think as I pulled him into a sideways hug. He came willingly, although a bit stiffly.
“We take it one day at a time. That’s how we figure out how to learn to trust others. It’s how we all live after what you’ve been through. Just know,” I lowered my voice, “I will never push you away. That I can promise.”
We sat there for a few long minutes. Enzo pushed away, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I don’t handle...” he waved a hand in the air. “This well. Never have.”
“Understandable,” I whispered. “I don’t expect anything from you. Only manners, and that won’t change. I won’t throw either of you out because of feelings or fears that come up. Either today, or years from now.”
“You see us staying here for that long?” Doubt clouded his expression before he noisily blew his nose with a Kleenex from the side table.
“I’m just leaving all the options on the table, so to speak,” I stated. “If it takes that long, then yes. All we can do is take it one day at a time. One hour at a time, if we need to.”
“I don’t want to a be bother. It’s your house. Emery and I—”
“Are staying.” I cut him off. “From what I can see, he isn’t ready to leave. It’s okay to stay and make a place here. So, how about we make a deal?” I waited until he gave a nod. “You and Emery need to have Scarlett’s approval to move out. Your wellbeing, along with Emery’s, is always my top priority. Since Scarlett is your therapist, she knows you both better than I do. It’s up to her to know when you really are ready to move out and be on your own.”
Enzo’s shoulders sagged, but it was the exact moment that he knew I was right.
He may think he could take on the world, but something as minor as jealousy had already crashed his spirit today. It wouldn’t take much of anything else to do it again.
