I didn’t have room in my heart to trust him more than I already did.
And it was only a matter of time before that was shattered.
“I’ll show you your room.” He stepped back, taking his hand away in the process. Instantly, I felt cold, wanting it back.
“Okay.” I sniffed, picking up my bag and following him through the house.
It was a slightly bigger version of the one I had been staying in. It felt well lived in, which hopefully meant it would be a comfortable space to allow me to feel… something other than lonely and sad.
“My room is right across the hall.” Ryker opened the door to a room much larger than the one I’d been using. “Bed linens have been washed already. A bathroom is right next door, which is also all yours. Make yourself at home. I won’t enter this room unless you say otherwise.”
He stepped back, letting me in. I walked in slowly, trying to take in the gray bed and dark dresser.
“If you need anything at any time, come find me.”
“Okay.”
I glanced back at him, finding him seeming a bit uncertain for a moment before the look was replaced with something I couldn’t name.
“I’m going to get the food put away.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say.
When he was out of sight, I began to unpack. Once the items were placed neatly in the closet and the dresser, I sat on the edge of the bed, unsure what to do now.
I guessed having a different space didn’t change anything.
I was still my own worst enemy, caged by four walls.
Ryker
Isat the tablet that I had planned to give Emery on the counter, next to his meds. A debate on whether to save it for later or give it to him now was knocking around in my mind.
I wasn’t sure how much more he’d be able to take, good or bad, before falling back into the numbness that he tended to lean on. Today had already been hard enough for him.
With that in mind, I ventured to his room. There, I found him fighting sleep as he sat on the edge of the bed, looking more lost than ever.
I lightly tapped on the door. His eyes instantly widened before a huge yawn caused them to close of their own accord.
“You’ve had a long day.”
“Long forever.” The two words were slurred slightly.
“That, too. An early night sounds like a great idea.”
Emery’s defeat was clear as ever as he looked at me. It was almost as though he were begging me to fix him. To fix his life.
If only I could.
If I knew what haunted him so deeply, I’d be happy to oblige. I’d move freaking mountains to make him smile and feel accepted. But it wasn’t that easy.
He’d lost himself and so much more.
Squinting, I tried to make out the figure that stood over the bed. It took me a moment too long to remember that I had a guest now, and even longer for me to get my brain to register my options.
“What’s wrong?” My voice was groggy. I looked at the clock, seeing it was barely after midnight.
“Can’t sleep.” Emery’s voice was quiet, and I wished I could see his eyes. The hallway light was still on, making him almost glow. “Headache.”
