Moments later, they were both gone, leaving me alone with Dominic.
“Are you eating?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah. Sawyer makes sure I do.”
“She seems to be a good friend.”
“She really is. I don’t think I’d be so determined to do some of the things she’s gotten me to do if it weren’t for her. I owe her.”
He gave me a small smile before reaching over and moving a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
“I won’t be able to stay very long.”
“I know,” I sighed, leaning into his palm. “I’m sorry I haven’t called.”
“You’re doing what you need to do. Don’t worry about me.”
“I should have called. I didn’t even know how much I missed you until I saw you.”
“Hey now,” he said softly, moving a bit closer. “You needed to focus on just you for once. You can’t heal unless you do, Scarlett. After everything you’ve been through…” he trailed off.
“No, what I’m doing is pushing everyone away,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I didn’t realize I was until now.” For some reason, this man always made me see things differently when he was in my presence.
“Scarlett,” he said, coaxing me to breathe as worry and panic began to set in. “Everyone understands. It’s okay to feel like you need to push us all away to figure out life. You’ve been through so much.”
“That still doesn’t make it okay.”
“But it does,” he said, dropping his hand. “You know, when I fell, and fell hard, I let my demons have their way with me. I fell into drinking away my pain. I’d do whatever I needed to just ease my dark thoughts. At one time, I was at the point of no return. I started taking pills along with drinking. Then, a little over a year ago I almost died. Then Collin found me.
“He forced me to get clean by locking me in a basement, of all places,” he laughed, shaking his head sadly. “I wasn’t…I didn’t want to live. I didn’t want to deal. I always heard how everyone thought Ace only took me in because he needed another heir to pass the business to in case something were to happen to Peyton, but he never once forced me into doing anything family-wise. But that made me feel like I wasn’t welcome. I still don’t feel welcome most of the time, but that’s my choice now. I don’t want much of anything to do with what Ace does for a living.
“Anyway, Collin got me clean and forced me to keep busy. Running supplies here and there. Made sure I was beingsafe. It was six months to the day when you showed up in Zevon’s arms.”
He swallowed, looking down at the floor.
“I never saw him so scared and out of sorts as that day,” he went on after a moment. He lifted his eyes back up to mine, so full of defeat and sadness. “It brought back memories I didn’t want to stir up. So I kept my distance.
“But then, you wanted me, out of everyone, and I had no clue what to do about that either. I wasn’t used to being wanted. Even when I tried to push you away, my heart wouldn’t let me. You have been the first thing I can’t push from my mind. Over the past few months, I’ve…grown close to you.”
“Dominic…”
“Don’t worry about anyone else but you. You can’t fully heal otherwise,” he went on. “But, what everyone wants is the girl you would have grown up to be. I bet you wouldn’t have looked at me twice then.”
“I’m not that girl, nor will I ever be,” I said. “I refuse to think about what I would be like if I wasn’t taken by Alan, because there’s no point in thinking about things that are out of my control. I am who I am. And I’m done trying to be who they want me to be.”
“Good,” he smiled. “That’s what will make you keep life at bay. And you won’t be able to push me away. I’m not going to let you. Ever.”
Iwasn’t ready for today. My feet dragged, my eyes heavy from lack of sleep, and my chest was tight. It didn’t help that Dominic left to return to their home early this morning, leaving me with an empty feeling. It was my own fault for being tired, though. I didn’t want to sleep, fearing I’d lose more time with two of the best people in my life.
Our goodbye was a bit teary eyed, but I knew it wasn’t going to be forever. Having him both here helped give me the strength to keep pushing forward. I would keep fighting.
I was running late to therapy, and I was tempted to cancel just because of the topic I knew would be pushed into my face today. It didn’t help that I had yet another text message. This time it was a picture of Zevon and Sawyer with the wordsThey will be the firstwritten over the top.
By the time I arrived, Dr. Mayes was standing in her doorway, talking to Ace. Caesar sat not far from the door, hands folded in his lap, relaxed as ever. Zevon gave me an encouraging smile before he took a seat and pulled out his phone.
Could I just ignore the huge elephant for the rest of my life?
“Good morning, dear,” Dr. Mayes said towards me. “I explained to your grandfather how this works.”
