“Either you pick someone, or I do,” Collin said, hardening his voice. “I’ll give you an hour to think it over.” He raised an eyebrow when my eyes met his. He wasn’t giving me any other option. I sighed, giving in. It didn’t mean I’d be all that willing to talk.
“Always so stubborn,” Peyton almost laughed. “Even after all this time…”
My body stiffened as reality set in. I wasn’t part of this family, even if they were trying everything to make me part of it. They were keeping secrets, and rightfully so, but secrets all the same.
Peyton quickly removed himself from the bed, leaving a cold feeling around me. I didn’t mean to make him leave.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t think…”
I wanted to tell him he was fine to come back and wrap me in his arms but now, the thought of him touching me was too much to handle. I didn’t want to panic again. I didn’t want to feel all this crap. I slowly pushed myself up with my good hand. There was a white bandage around the one I’d cut just hours before.
“You have seven stitches. No taking a shower or getting it wet for at least a week, maybe longer. Also, there’s no longer anything in the bathroom you can use to harm yourself. I should have thought about it before. That right there is why you need someone to talk to,” Collin said, softening his voice.
“I’ll make you a deal,” Peyton said. “You talk to someone and I’ll…make you cookies.”
“Cookies?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.
“The best ones you’ll ever eat,” he said, raising his head up. “Mom taught me how to make them.”
After a moment, I replied, “Okay.”
“Awesome!” he smiled, victorious.
“I’ll get you a list and you can pick who you would be willing to talk to; then, he’ll make cookies,” Collin said, picking up my notebook from the nightstand beside the bed.
Within minutes, he had everyone’s name written down. He put the names into sections. The people I had already met were at the top. The others I had yet to meet were a space down.
“I can get any of these people to come up here and talk to you. Or, if you prefer, I’ll find you professional help. I’ll be back in an hour.”
He left the notebook on the bed beside me, and Peyton followed, saying he’d bring some food up when he came to check on me after bit.
Huffing out a tired sigh, I pushed myself to sit up and look at the names. Glancing through them, I notice one name that wasn’t on the list.
Putting the missing name at the bottom, I marked whom I’d be willing to at least listen to. Beside Hannah’s name, I wrote‘Want to meet’.
I’d wait and see if I’d actually meet the woman Dominic said was my mother. So far, he seemed to be the only truthful person here. He didn’t hide things. With the one encounter, Dominic had treated me like an equal while everyone else had withheld information from me. I may not be all here mentally, lost in my own sorrow, but they didn’t even try to tell me anything.
Thirty minutes later, Peyton came up with a tray of food—a simple bowl of fruit and crackers. I pushed myself to sit up, although I’d rather just go back to sleep. Pretend to sleep, since I knew sleep wouldn’t find me too well.
“Collin also set out some anti-nausea meds for you. Pops wants me to stay with you and make sure you eat, or try to eat. He’d do it himself, but he has a phone call he has to handle.”
I wasn’t sure if they knew me that well already, or if they just didn’t want to chance it after the stunt I’d pulled—although, I rather have Peyton in here than Ace right now, or even Zevon. I couldn’t even eat with Zevon near me. He still rubbed me the wrong way, and I didn’t think that would be changing anytime soon.
Slowly, I ate some of the fruit. The juices and flavors were the best thing ever. They actually settled well, and I hoped it wasn’t just because of the pill Collin had sent up.
After eating a little over half, I set the tray aside, feeling full and more than ready to take a nap.
“Did you figure out who you’ll talk to?” Peyton asked after handing the tray off to whoever was out in the hallway on duty.
I shrugged. I didn’t want him to know whom I’d picked, but he’d find out. A surge of panic hit me as I considered what he’d think about whom I chose. Would he be upset if it wasn’t him? Was he expecting me to pick him, just because he may be my brother?
“Fair enough,” Peyton said, drawing me out of my thoughts. “You know, you’ve been here for almost four weeks already, and no one knows anything really about you. Like, what you do like to do? Hobbies? Friends? If you have friends, we can figure out something for them to come visit you.”
I shook my head.
“To which question?”
I gave him a look that I hoped conveyed my answer to all of them. Other than Lisa, I had no one to lean on. Friends were forbidden, and I quickly ditched them all after elementary school since they all thought I was stuck up. It wasn’t my fault I’d lost so much faith in my ability to even hold a conversation.
