It went back and forth for about half an hour. I didn’t want to ask too many personal questions that would cause her to clam up. There were so many things I wanted to ask to learn more about her, but knew now wasn’t thetime.
“Can I ask something?” she saidquietly.
“Of course,” I answered, hiding mysurprise.
“Are you going to punish me for the way I acted this past week?” she asked, blushing and looking anywhere but at me. Ah, so she was finally back from wherever her mind had taken herto.
“Do you think you need to be punished?” I asked. I didn’t want to, but if it made her feel better, Iwould.
“I broke your rules. I didn’t keep the house in order, and I ignored you,” she whispered. “You said I would be punished if Idisobeyed.”
“Yes, I did,” I said, moving to kneel in front of her so she was forced to meet my eyes. I could see the tears gathering. “I also didn’t command you in any way to do anything for me. I wanted you to come to me, when you felt better and were able to come to terms withthings.”
“I didn’t do anything for you,” she said, her voicebreaking.
“I didn’t force you to, so you didn’t ignore me,” I said. “So, do you want to bepunished?”
“No,” she said instantly, with a quick shake of herhead.
“Then I won’t. Please, next time you feel so down, come talk to me,alright?”
“Yes, Sir,” she answered, relieved, leaningback.
“Anything else?” I asked, seeing her emotions flicker across her face. I could see indecision and worry, but alsohope.
“Kaleb said I needed to find something to make me fight,” she began quietly. “Something to make me want to fight, to move on, and I think Idid.”
“What made you decide?” I asked, already having a goodidea.
A warm smile spread across her face as her eyes lit up, as she answered. “I lost my own baby, and I wondered what she’d have looked like if she’d lived. I probably wouldn’t have been able to keep her or him while I was there, but I still had to wonder. I don’t think this one should have to live a life with the fear of feelingalone.”
“Kelly and Kaleb would give her everything she needs or wants. Same as I—we—could do,” I replied. She picked the baby up as she began towhine.
“I think . . . I want . . .” shemumbled.
“You want to keep her?” I asked, keeping my shock and joy masked as much as Icould.
“Please?” she asked, almost begged, as she held the baby to her chest like she was never going to letgo.
“Of course,” I smiled. “That means we will have to go shopping, or at least I will, to get some things. And we’ll need to find a name forher.”
“Really?” she asked, sitting up a little too fast and scaring the poor little one. I couldn’t help butlaugh.
“Yes, really,” I clarified with a smile. Her returning smile lit up the room. It was warm and happy, and full of life. “Let me go grab my computer and see what we can find. We may be lucky; the stores may have what we want in stock, furniture wise. I’ll send Zack and Emily, and maybe my mother, to pick the items up we need for now. We have to have a car seat for her before she can go outshopping.
“Kaleb heard back with info on the girl, and the timing matches. She'd just been released from social services a month before, so there’s no family looking for her,” I said, making sure Dawn knew there was no chance that the baby would have to be given up to the next of kin. I’d make sure we were approved to go through the adoption process, even though I saw no reason we wouldn’t be ableto.
Within the next hour, we had ordered a crib, car seat, stroller, high chair, changing table, and a bunch of clothes. The store was one of the higher priced ones, but would be able to have everything delivered later that day, and installers to set everything up for us. The furniture was all matching cherry wood. We compromised on a simple sleigh style crib, where the bed was close to the floor but easier to lay the babydown.
I knew my parents still had the Moses basket and wicker bassinet they’d used with me and Zack. Kelly would gladly send all the clothes that her little one had outgrown over to us, so for the time being, I believed we were set. I would call Tom and get the paperwork started to make this little one our own. I would be pushing the foster papers through so we didn’t have to juggle the baby around from house to house while we waited forapproval.
“What will we name her?” I asked, laying the computer on the coffee table, and turning toDawn.
“Elizabeth?” she asked shyly. It was just a name I’ve alwaysloved.
“Elizabeth Renea,” I replied, giving the baby a middle name after my grandmother, who I’d heard of from stories, as she had passed away when I was too small toremember.
“Perfect,” she agreed, stroking the baby’s cheeklovingly.
