“I’m not sure, Sir,” I answered. I had no idea how long I had been held here. Maybe a year? Twoyears?
“Hmm,” he said, thinking. “It’s 2013, mid-March.”
“So, about a year and a half then, Sir,” Ianswered.
“That long?” he said, shocked and leaning back on hishands.
I shrugged, not having anything to say to that. I had no choice in thematter.
“Why are you here, girl?” he asked. “Being so young, you aren’t the type or age Galvin usually bringsin.”
“I don’t know, Sir. Morgan brought me here to pay a debt off for my mother,” I simply answered. That was the only answer I ever got when I had the courage toask.
“Where is your mother, then? Shouldn’t she be the one paying the debt off, not you?” he asked, cocking his head to the side and watching me with his light hazeleyes.
“I don’t know. Somewhere better than here,” Ianswered.
“So, you aren’t here willingly?” the man asked, looking at me, almost through me, in away.
I shook my head. “I don’t think anyone is here willingly. Not with what we are forced toendure.”
“I see,” he said. “I’m guessing you don’t know when you’ll be allowed to leave,then?”
“No, Sir,” I answered sadly. I wished I knew. I wished I wasn’t here now. I would gladly even take my father’s place than behere.
“I’ll see what I can do to get you out. I’ll talk to Galvin, but I highly doubt he’d let you go willingly—not yet. He seems to like you,” he said. “Oh, by the way, I’mKevin.”
He left shortly afterward, claiming I was the best action he’d had in months, with the promise of wanting my services again. I never did see him again after that, but I didn’t think much of it, either. What would be the point? So many men came and went, and I hardly ever remembered names after the deed wasdone.
The next day, Joslyn came by, and with the help of Elijah, I was made to take a bath. It felt nice to be clean, but I still didn’t want to face reality. I didn’t want to face my nightmares. I wanted to be in between the past and the present—or skip to the future, if it werepossible.
After being bathed and dressed in clean clothes, Elijah fed me spoonful after spoonful of soup, in a tender and loving manner. I was sure I looked like a wreck, but he never said anything; never demanded me to come out of the space my brain was in. He could have, and I would have followed hisorders.
Time seemed to become a blur once again, the nightmares and what was real crashing into one another. I woke a few times, gasping for breath. Each time, Elijah was there, holding me, talking me down and calming my racing heart. I just wanted it toend.
I briefly thought about how easy it would be to end my life then. Elijah never once left me alone, but I could have used the razor blades in the bathroom, or starved myself to death. It wouldn’t take much. I had nothing to live for, no reason to keep on fighting the darkness that weighed heavily on myshoulders.
Emily was currently sitting in the rocking chair, reading a magazine, making comments here and there, but I mostly tuned her out. I wanted to sleep, but sleep was not coming easily for me, once again. Elijah was up here about an hour before, making sure I ate some food on my own this time. He said it wasprogress.
Emily had tried to talk to me about therapy, and how it was helping her cope with what she went through, but it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. I had no reason to listen. It wouldn’t helpme.
The doorbell rang, and I figured it was Joslyn and Vence again. With a sigh, I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would give me some peace ofmind.
