Chapter 13
Dawn
Iwas in awe,and couldn’t believe I was allowed to hold the baby. She was so little. I had no idea what I was doing, and was more than glad they showed me what to do. Holding Lilly, all my panic disappeared; having something to focus on helped. I couldn’t resist giving a little smile as Kaleb joked about not knowing what to do at first,either.
Elijah’s whispered words shocked me, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I wasn’t sure if I could have kids, let alone even want any. Could I see myself ever having any of my own? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if I wanted to have a baby to beginwith.
* * *
“Who doyou think you can trick?” Erick snarled as he stormed into the cell where I was huddled into the corner by the sink. I had taken to hiding there after Morgan had dragged me back after I was used by some nameless man. I was fifteen, and my stomach was beginning toswell.
“Erick,” Morganwarned.
“Don’t even start. You know she can’t be pregnant,” Erick yelled. “I don’t know how Galvin had let this go on for solong.”
“She wasn’t showing until this week, Erick,” Morgan said calmly. “You don’t need to do it thisway.”
“No spawn of mine is allowed to leave this place,” Erick sneered as he lifted me up from the floor by my hair. He punched my slightly rounded stomach, knocking the breath out of me. I fell to the floor, gasping tearfully, where he then kicked me over and over until Morgan pulled him away and shoved him out the door. I couldn’t move as I sobbed inpain.
“I’m sorry, child,” Morgan said as he injected something into my arm after kneeling next to me. “I would have made sure it would have gone to a goodhome.”
Why was he so nice all of a sudden? He’d never given me such care, so what was he after? It wasn’t just to save me, that's forsure.
At the time, I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t understand that I was pregnant, or why I was being punished. I barely even knew what I was being forced to do. I just did what the men wanted so I wouldn’t get hit or tied up all the time. Between the lack of sleep and food, everything seemed sodulled.
My hope was completely shattered when I woke some time later. I was covered in blood and after birth, and parts of the gown stuck to my skin. I shouldn’t have taken a closerlook.
There, laying surrounded by blood, was a lifeless little body. The fetus was twenty-nine weeks old. There was just skin and bones, and tiny like a baby doll would have been. It’s toes and fingers still had webs asdidgets.
I screamed and moved as far away as I could, but couldn’t take my eyes off the thing. My screaming alerted Morgan, who had been out in thehall.
He was in front of me, silencing me by kissing me. He always liked to kiss me, saying he would be my Daddy, and save me from this hell when I was no longer any use to Galvin. I wanted to spit in his face, but I had learned notto.
I hated it when he wanted me to call himDaddy.
“Hey now,” he cooed after backing away and running his finger along my nose. His dark eyes glinted with something I couldn’t name. Something that promised pain upon pain as he pretended to care. “None of that. We don’t want Erick knowing you’reawake.”
* * *
“You don’t haveto answer, but how old were you when you lost your baby?” Kelly asked quietly, bringing me out of mythoughts.
“Fifteen,” I answered after a pause. “It never happened again. Morgan madesure.”
“What do you mean by that?” she asked, her voicesoft.
“He’d give me injections of something,” I answered. I hated those shots. They made me sick for a dayafterward.
“The depo shot,” she said but continued, seeing I was confused. “It’s a shot that prevents pregnancies and stops the monthly menstrualcycle.”
“Oh,” I said, wrinkling my nose. That could make sense; my periods were very light, if I even hadone.
“So, how do you like it here? I know where you were before, but not all your history,” she said. I watched in fascination as she easily removed the wet diaper and put a new one onLilly.
“It’s warmer here,” I answered, bringing my legs up to my chest. “And I can havefood.”
“What’s your favoritefood?”
“Everything . . . but cheese sandwiches. That’s the only thing I got to eat there. Dried, moldy bread, and cheese,” I replied, feeling at ease withher.
