“And that’s what made you leave, right?” he asked.
“Mostly, yes,” I answered. “He didn’t want me to have any kids. He said he’d never allow me to have one.”
“Then why come back?” he asked tearfully.
“Because he came and found me. He apologized to me,” I answered. “I didn’t come back just for him. I came back for everyone. Including you. I missed everyone.”
“Violet said you had a kid,” he said, kicking a small rock out of his way.
“I did,” I said, not hiding that fact. “And he’s here, too.”
“Won’t Zach take him away?” he asked. “That’s what happened to me. My dad didn’t want me and took me away from my mom after killing her.”
“No, Zach won’t ever take him away,” I said. “If he tried, I’d kill him first.”
Toby froze at my words.
“I wouldn’t really, but I’d want to,” I was quick to say. “He’s not a kid person, but he’s trying now. And that’s what counts. Some people can change.”
“Not all,” Toby whispered.
“No, not all do,” I agreed.
“Have you changed?” he asked, looking up at me for a moment.
“I don’t think so,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m still just me. I may be a mom now, but I still like and do the same stuff as before.”
“Then why couldn’t you have taken me with you if you didn’t change?” he asked.
“Toby, sweetheart,” I sighed, pulling him to me. He went against me willingly, wrapping his arms around my waist. “You couldn’t have gone with me. Violet and Melio would have been devastated. Besides I wasn’t happy, and you wouldn’t have been either. I was sad and had to figure stuff out before I came back. I had to make sure that my baby would be welcomed by Zach and everyone before I ever thought of returning.”
“Don’t leave again, please,” he cried against my chest.
“I promise I won’t,” I said, laying my head on his, fighting back my own tears. “I can’t or it’d break me. Again.”
We stood there for a few minutes in silence, hanging on to one another. The only sounds that were heard were the birds chirping in the trees around us.
“Would you like to see my baby?” I asked as we both pulled apart.
“Sure,” he shrugged, trying to act as if he didn’t care. I could tell he wanted to see my baby, and I think I would never get to hold my son again afterwards.
I had a feeling that Toby and Josh would quite possibly be inseparable soon enough. As much as Catrina would be when they came to visit.
