“Who’s Taylor?” he asked after I got situated. He seemed afraid to know for sure who the man that had lived here was.
“Was my uncle,” I said, not taking my eyes off the baby in my arms.
“Was?” he repeated.
“Aaron killed him when Taylor stabbed him. He tried to save me,” I answered quietly.
“Oh,” he said. That simple two letter word.
“Tell me what you’ve been doing here,” he said, leaning against the back of the couch.
“Why?” I asked.
“So I can maybe understand,” he shrugged.
With a deep breath, I began to tell him. I told him how I feared my life, the life of Josh. I told him that I came here to do anything I could to keep my baby. I spoke the words as though nothing had been different. I said each word as though it was my last. I let my words be filled with heartache and peace with my choices.
I let my words tell what I felt every single day I lived without him by my side. I told him that I hated the idea of leaving. I told him that I did the only thing I could to keep on living.
I told him I was alive only because of the life I had given.
And nothing would change that.
Ever.
“You can’t take him from me, if that’s why you are here now. I won’t let you,” I said towards the man I loved. After everything, I still loved him as much as I ever had before. “If it comes between the two of you, you won’t ever win, Zach. I left to keep him, and I’d do it again.”
“You won’t,” he said. “I won’t take him, and you don’t have to leave again. I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, give me another chance.”
Could I give him a chance? I wanted to. He was here now, after so many months. He was here listening to my words instead of trying to talk over them.
So maybe, just maybe, I could.
Chapter 27
Zachariah
Was I doing the right thing? I had no idea. As the words passed my lips, I knew they were true.
We were both hurting. We were both in need of something from each other. We couldn’t live without one another, and I’d do anything to get both of us to be on the same page, or at least as close as possible. I’d take her back in a heartbeat, the child too. I’d just deal with it, and hope that I could come to terms with everything.
Hopefully.
I could pretend that the child was never there if I had too. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a father, but I could deal with it being in my house. For Avidya, I would.
As Avidya told me what her life had been like the past months had been like for her. I listened to each and every single word that passed her lips. I hung onto them as if my life depended on them. I listened to everything she had to say. Although she hardly looked my way, I could see the sadness on her face.
She really was as sad as I had been. At least she had a reason to keep on living, and try to make something here. She did a better job of everything compared to how I had been handling my life. I would have easily spent every moment drunk if I could have.
I was angry that she had to face Aaron and that everyone had known all the reasons she left me. I wasn’t sure how my family was able to keep it from me for so long.
She knew how to handle the baby, even after a long NICU stay. I felt horrible that she had to deal with all of this alone. Why didn’t she call me? Why didn’t she ask for help? Surely, she needed someone more than just the girl next door to help her.
“Why didn’t you call?” I asked, not able to hold the question any longer. It should have been so easy for her to pick up that phone and call me. I would have answered, no matter what time of day or night it was.
“I wanted to,” she sighed tiredly. “There were a few times I was so close to picking up the phone to call you. I knew your voice would help me make it through the tough days. There were so many days I almost couldn’t keep on going. But I knew you would be able to hear that something was wrong and you’d want to know. I would have told you, too. I needed someone to be here to help, to listen. Sure, I had Krissy and Travis, but they weren’tyou.”
“I’d have come earlier if I’d known,” I said. “If you would have told me . . .”
